


Welcome Home

by tooruful



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi, Post-Canon, Shenanigans, aro bokuto, aro shimizu, demi oikawa, group chats, tw: matsuhana and brokkuro interactions, various characters make brief appearances
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 04:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5953254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tooruful/pseuds/tooruful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kiyoko moves in with the captains and insanity ensues. Told in the form of group chat/texts because narrative is hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome Home

**JULY 4TH**  
_Sawamura_Daichi has added Misshimizu to FORMER DADS (WE VISIT ON WEEKENDS) at 10:28AM_

grumpycatislol: oho?  
hoot@meme: ohohoho  
grumpycatislol: ohohohohohohohoho  
hoot@meme: ohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho  
grumpycatislol: ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho  
hoot@meme: OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

[cut for length]

vcomein✌: are you fucking kidding me?  
vcomein✌: do you have nothing better to do?  
grumpycatislol: nope  
hoot@meme: nah  
Sawamura_Daichi: Guys, way to make a good first impression on our new roommate.  
vcomein✌: WHAT?  
vcomein✌: whos misshimizu  
Misshimizu: Hello…  
Sawamura_Daichi: Shimizu Kiyoko, the old manager from Karasuno when we were third years.  
Sawamura_Daichi: She needed a place to stay and so I offered her the other bedroom at our place.  
vcomein✌: BOKUTO. KUROO. I AM GOING TO END YOU.  
vcomein✌: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO?  
grumpycatislol: oho?  
hoot@meme: ohohohoho?  
vcomein✌: NO STOP. NO. YOU FUCKING SPAMMED THIS CHAT  
vcomein✌: Hello, Shimizu-san. I see you couldn’t keep away from the great Oikawa-san  
vcomein✌: (๑ゝڡ◕๑)  
grumpycatislol: dude shes gonna know that you shit and your farts smell like ass once she moves in later 2day  
hoot@meme: HOOT HOOT  
vcomein✌: YOU KNOW WHAT KUROO  
vcomein✌: at least i shit diamonds and my farts look like rainbows  
Sawamura_Daichi: You know that she’s a part of this chat and that she can read everything you two are saying?  
vcomein✌: STFU SAWAMURA

_Misshimizu has changed FORMER DADS (WE VISIT ON WEEKENDS) to OIKAWA TOORU HAS NO CHILL at 5:01PM_

_vcomein✌ has left OIKAWA TOORU HAS NO CHILL at 5:01PM_

grumpycatislol: OMG  
hoot@meme: I HAVENT MET YOU YET BUT ILY  
grumpycatislol: ily2  
grumpycatislol: like in a none creepy way  
hoot@meme: not sure if my love is creepy or none creepy but either way ILY  
Misshimizu: Don’t let noya or tanaka hear you say that

_Sawaramura_Daichi has added vcomein✌ to OIKAWA TOORU HAS NO CHILL at 5:07PM_

vcomein✌: kill me now pls  
Misshimizu: Arsenic or gunshot?  
gumycatislol: DAMN SON  
hoot@meme: DAMN BOI  
hoot@meme: SAWAMURA BRO  
grumpcatislol: y didnt u tell us that shimizu san is swag at hell  
hoot@meme: FLY AS FUCK  
grumpycatislol: THE BEES KNEES  
hoot@meme: THE CATS PAJAMAS  
grumpycatislol: brO  
hoot@meme: BRo  
grumpycatislol: i am touched bro  
hoot@meme: i always got ur back bro  
grumpycatislol: marry me bro  
hoot@meme: we already r bro  
grumpycatislol: bro i am crying  
hoot@meme: i will catch your tears bottle them up and wear that bottle as a necklace so i can always have a part of you with me  
grumpycatislol: bruh  
Sawamura_Daichi: Please stop.  
Misshimizu: Yes please do  
Sawamura_Daichi: I’m so sorry. You can back out now if you want.  
Misshimizu: Considering that I’m outside your door I don’t think I can  
vcomein✌: could this day get any worse?

_Misshimizu has changed OIKAWA TOORU HAS NO CHILL to ALIENS R 4 LOSERSSSSS at 10:57PM_

vcomein✌: I AM GOING TO END YOU

**JULY 13TH**  
_ALIENS R 4 LOSERSSSSS at 4:01AM_

hoot@meme: FOR THE RECORD OF THIS CHAT  
hoot@meme: OIKAWA CANNOT WIN AGAINST A GIRL  
hoot@meme: NAMED SHIMIZU KIYOKO  
hoot@meme: AND I LOVE HER  
hoot@meme: AND SHE WILL BE NOW KNOWN AS MY WAIFU

_hoot@meme has changed ALIENS R 4 LOSERSSSSS to SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS MY WAIFU at 4:04AM_

Misshimizu: Go to bed Bokuto-kun  
hoot@meme: ILY  
hoot@meme: MY BEAUTIFUL WAIFU  
grumpycatislol: SHUT THE FUCK UP BRO  
grumpycatislol: I CAN HEAR YOUR ANNOYING ASS OWL NOISES FROM MY ROOM  
grumpycatislol: I HAVE A FUCKING EXAM IN THE MORNING YOU MORON  
grumpycatislol: STOP SHOUTING ACROSS THE APARTMENT  
grumpycatislol: NO I AM PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER  
grumpycatislol: LITERALLY JUST SAID BRO  
grumpycatislol: I HAVE FUCKING EXAM IN THE MORNING SO NO I WILL NOT PLAY COD WITH YOU RN  
grumpycatislol: tmrw bb  
grumpycatislol: GO 2 BED  
Sawamura_Daichi: I swear to god, you two, go to bed.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Now.

_SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS MY WAIFU at 8:29AM_

vcomein✌: what the  
vcomein✌: >>hoot@meme has changed ALIENS R 4 LOSERSSSSS to SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS MY WAIFU at 4:04AM

vcomein✌ has changed SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS MY WAIFU to ALL HAIL OIKAWA-SAN at 8:37AM

Misshimizu: Good luck on your exam Kuroo-kun!  
Misshimizu: I hope you got the coffee and muffin I left for you before you left ^^

grumpycatislol has changed ALL HAIL OIKAWA-SAN to SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS A GODDESS at 11:12AM

**JULY 16TH**  
_SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS A GODDESS at 12:18PM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Is it alright if I have some people over to stay this weekend? Well more like one night.  
hoot@meme: ohohoho?  
grumpycatislol: ohohohoho?  
grumpycatislol: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
vcomein✌: who?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Um...  
vcomein✌: pls don't let it be who i think it is  
vcomein✌: go to a hotel or something  
vcomein✌: my innocent nature cannot handle this  
Sawamura_Daichi: What?  
grumpycatislol: "innocent nature"  
hoot@meme: HA!  
hoot@meme: GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT  
hoot@meme: A++++++++  
hoot@meme: 7/10 for creativity tho  
vcomein✌: what are you talking about bokuto?  
hoot@meme: o was that not a joke?  
vcomein✌: you are dead to me  
grumpycatislol: awk bruh  
Sawamura_Daichi: It's the second and third years from Karasuno. They are coming up for training with the Fukurodani Group and the third years want to visit colleges while they're up here and the second years just want to tag along I think.  
vcomein✌: ohhhh  
vcomein✌: well then  
vcomein✌: any chance to point out to tobio-chan how much better i am at life than he is  
vcomein✌: is a welcome chance in my book  
hoot@meme: MY CROW SON  
hoot@meme: HINATA SHOYO  
hoot@meme: my salty bean pol  
hoot@meme: TSUKKI  
hoot@meme: I LOVE THEM  
hoot@meme: HINATA CAN SLEEP IN MY ROOM  
hoot@meme: TSUKKI CANNOT  
hoot@meme: MY TINY SON  
Sawamura_Daichi: Wait, what did you mean innocent nature? Who did you think was coming over?  
vcomein✌: ...  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa.  
grumpycatislol: OH SHIT  
grumpycatislol: they have to apply to colleges dont they  
grumpycatislol: i should txt kenma  
grumpycatislol: he should get on that  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oh, Kuroo, Bokuto, you should ask Kenma and Akaashi to come over and hang out this weekend too. Kenma is friends with Hinata and I'm sure Tsukishima would like to see Akaashi.

_SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS A GODDESS at 1:00PM_

grumpycatilol: bokuto bro did you kno?  
hoot@meme: wut bro  
grumpycatislol: i just txted kenma to ask him if he wants to go college visiting this weeknd  
grumpycatislol: w me  
grumpycatislol: and he said he already went to see colleges a few weeknds ago  
vcomein✌: wow the suspense is killing me  
vcomein✌: please continue with this revetting tale kuroo  
grumpycatislol: stfu trashkawa  
vcomein✌: HEY  
vcomein✌: only iwachan is allowed to call me that  
hoot@meme: was that it bro?  
hoot@meme: i was expecting more  
hoot@meme: im not angry  
hoot@meme: just disappointed  
grumpycatislol: NO THAT IS NOT ALL  
grumpycatislol: APPARENTLY HE WENT TO VISIT COLLEGES WITH AKAASHI AND DIDNT TELL ME  
hoot@meme: WAT  
hoot@meme: HOW COULD AKAASHI NOT TELL MEEEEEE  
hoot@meme: I THOUGHT AKAASHI N I WERE BROS  
hoot@meme: HOW COULD HE NT TELL MEEEEEE?  
grumpycatislol: I KNO RIGHT?  
grumycatislol: I AM FEELING SO BETRAYED RN  
grumpycatislol: kenma says its bc we r apparently embarrassing  
grumpycatislol: and he knew that we would want to tag along  
grumpycatislol: and he and akaashi after that ONE TIME  
grumpycatislol: dont like going places with us in public anymore  
grumpycatislol: I AM SO HURT  
hoot@meme: COME FIND ME AND HOLD ME KUROO BRO  
grumpycatislol: ON MY WAY BRO  
grumpycatislol: WHERE R U?  
Misshimizu: Yes that's fine if Karasuno come to stay  
Misshimizu: Just please make sure that Hinata Tanaka and Nishonoya don't go near the coffee machine or else none of us will sleep  
Sawamura_Daichi: Don't worry. I am at the store buying child locks.

**JULY 18TH**  
_SHIMIZU I LUV U SHIMIZU I DOOOOOOooOO at 4:43PM_

vcomein✌: what a shit show you two put on  
vcomein✌: in case you dont remember  
vcomein✌: i sent you both a ton of snaps  
vcomein✌: and i have more videos in case you want to see  
Sawamura_Daichi: I have made the gravest mistake of my life.  
Sawamura_Daichi: I feel like I should go to church and repent and I wasn't even the one to do anything.  
Misshimizu: I told you not to let them near the coffee machine  
Sawamura_Daichi: I thought child locks would work, but I forgot that while Kuroo might look dumb, he's actually smart...  
Misshimizu: An awful combination  
Sawamura_Daichi: I am so sorry, Shimizu  
grumpycatislol: wat a nite  
grumpycatislol: wat a nite  
hoot@meme: YEA BOI  
vcomein✌: did you get my snaps?  
vcomein✌: i also posted videos on fb  
grumpycatislol: i have done nothin i am ashamed of  
grumpycatislol: hbu bro?  
hoot@meme: SAAAAAAAME  
hoot@meme: BEST NITE EVRRRRR  
Misshimizu: Do you even remember your "best nite evrrrrr?"  
grumpycatislol: some parts r vv blurry...  
hoot@meme: BUT IM SURE WE WRE SWAG AS HELL  
Misshimizu: You should check fb  
Misshimizu: And watch the video of you guys singing  
hoot@meme: KUROO BRO WE LOOK FINE AS FUCK  
grumpycatislol: HELL YEA WE DO  
grumpycatislol: LOOK AT OUR HARMONY  
hoot@meme: ON PNT BRO  
hoot@meme: WE SHOULD B OPERA SINGERS  
hoot@meme: THAT IS HOW GOOD WE SOUND  
grumpycatislol: ANGELS IN HEAVEN WERE CRYING  
hoot@meme: i am so glad that oikawa was smart enough to get that whole beautiful moment on film  
hoot@meme: so blessed to be alive rn  
grumpycatislol: more like so blessed that oikawa is never not with his phone  
Sawamura_Daichi: So, neither one of you is embarrassed that you sang some sort of ode to Shimizu outside the apartment building literally butt naked with Tanaka and Nishinoya at 3 in the morning?  
hoot@meme: literally wat is there 2b embarrassed abt?  
grumpycatislol: only regret i have is y we decided a funeral march would be the best music to put it to  
grumpycatislol: short lapse in judgement there  
hoot@meme: naw bro  
hoot@meme: we thought it would give it AESTHETIC  
hoot@meme: we hd like a 30 MIN convo abt it w noya n ryu  
hoot@meme: how gone wre u that u cant remember that  
grumpycatislol: apparently goner than i thought  
grumpycatislol: but still no regrets  
Misshimizu: I bought new locks for our doors so when the two of them go out at some point we can change the locks  
vcomein✌: for once you and i are on the same page shimizu chan

**JULY 19th**  
_LET US IN WE R SRRRRRRRY at 1:23AM_

vcomein✌: how the fuck does that video that over 800 hundred likes already?  
vcomein✌: seriously more than my prof pic?  
vcomein✌: seriously?  
vcomein✌: what is the world coming to?  
Misshimizu: Clearly the world has turned decided to take out the trash  
vcomein✌: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻  
vcomein✌: you are the table  
Misshimizu: You are still trash

**JULY 20TH**  
_HAPPY BIRTHDAY OIKAWA-KUN at 8:03AM_

Misshimizu: Happy birthday Oikawa-kun  
Misshimizu: I left you some coffee milk and milk bread on the counter  
Misshimizu: To call a truce for the day  
vcomein✌: if you wanted me so badly you couldve just asked  
vcomein✌: ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Misshimizu: I threw out your Star Wars DVDs because I thought you would get lonely in the dumpster  
grumpycatislol: BURN  
grumpycatislol: great way to start the morn  
grumpycatilol: <http://i.imgur.com/DKYnDdo.gif>  
grumpycatislol: hb oikawa  
hoot@meme: HAPPY BDAY OIKAWA  
hoot@meme: <http://i.imgur.com/YJC7xRO.png>  
vcomein✌: YOU DIDNT THROW THEM OUT DID YOU?  
vcomein✌: YOU WOULDNT DARE  
Sawamura_Daichi: Happy birthday, Oikawa. I made a reservation for us to go out and eat tonight at your favorite restaurant. I made it for 7:30PM. See you all later.  
vcomein✌: thx guys  
vcomein✌: ON MY BIRTHDAY TOO  
vcomein✌: OK IM SORRY  
vcomein✌: IM SORRY  
vcomein✌: I WILL STOP HITTING ON YOU  
vcomein✌: YOU DIDNT THROW THEM OUT DID YOU  
vcomein✌: I KNOW YOURE READING THESE  
Misshimizu: I accept your apology and I will hold you to what you just said  
Misshimizu: No I did not throw out your DVDs  
Misshimizu: I hid them in the cupboard behind the rice  
Misshimizu: Ok Daichi-kun

**JULY 21st**  
_vcomein✌ has changed HAPPY BIRTHDAY OIKAWA-KUN to MITTY IS A JEDI MASTER at 12:03AM_

hoot@meme: for once it wasnt me  
hoot@meme: BUT MITTY IS STILL MY WAIFU  
hoot@meme: DONT U DARE STEAL HER AWAY FROM ME  
hoot@meme: AND NOYA  
hoot@meme: AND RYU  
hoot@meme: SHE IS STILL MY WAIFU BEFORE THEIRS  
hoot@meme: DONT TELL THEM I SAID THAT  
grumpycatislol: oikawa dude we can hear your crying from here  
grumpycatislol: mitty i think u broke him  
Sawamura_Daichi: At least we know that he likes his gift of extended blueray edition of Star Wars.

_MITTY IS A JEDI MASTER at 3:58AM_

grumpycatislol: omfg  
grumpycatislol: is he watching it with commentary now??  
grumpycatislol: OI  
grumpycatislol: OIKAWA WATCH IT W HEADPHONES  
grumpycatilol: I CAN HEAR IT BLASTING FRM UR COMPUTER FROM HERE  
grumpycatislol: I KNO U CAN HEAR ME EVEN IF U LOCKED UR DOOR  
grumpycatislol: OUR ROOMS R RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER SHITTYKAWA  
grumpycatislol: I WANT TO SLEEP

_MITTY IS A JEDI MASTER at 5:01AM_

grumpycatislol: I S2G I AM GOING TO BREAKDOWN UR GODDAM DOOR ASSHOLE  
vcomein✌: tbh i dont know why youre complaining...  
grumpycatislol: I AM COMING IN

**JULY 28th**  
_MITTY IS A MEME QUEEN at 6:30PM_

hoot@meme: LET IT BE KNOWN  
hoot@meme: FOR THE RECORD OF THIS CHAT  
hoot@meme: MY BEAUTIFUL WAIFU  
hoot@meme: MITTY  
hoot@meme: IS A MEME QUEEN  
hoot@meme: AND I THOUGHT I COULDNT LUV HER MORE  
hoot@meme: BUT I WAS WRONG  
Misshimizu: Kouta kun please put a shirt on  
Misshimizu: Oikawa kun is a virgin  
Misshimizu: And you are upsetting his delicate maiden sensibilities  
vcomein✌: i hate you so much  
vcomein✌: you have all betrayed me  
vcomein✌: you especially mitty  
vcomein✌: i told you that in confidence  
vcomein✌: when i was drunk  
vcomein✌: you took advantage of me  
Misshimizu: You took advantage of me  
Misshimizu: I didn't ask you to take me into your confidence  
grumpycatilol: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  
hoot@meme: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOl  
vcomein✌: you are dead to me mitty  
vcomein✌: DEAD TO ME  
Misshimizu: Then may I have the Star Wars DVD back? I think there is a 30 day refund policy  
vcomein✌: OVER MY DEAD BODY  
grumpcatislol: hahahaahhahahahah  
grumpycatislol: sawamura where r u?  
grumpycatislol: u r missing gold rn  
grumpycatislol: oikawa went and locked himself in his room  
vcomein✌: i'm going to bed  
grumpycatislol: its 6:40  
vcomein✌: whatever  
vcomein✌: i'm sick  
Misshimizu: Of being a virgin  
vcomein✌: I HATE YOU

_MITTY IS A MEME QUEEN at 9:28PM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Shimizu isn't going to kill you Oikawa. You can come out. She says she'll apologize.  
Misshimizu: Because dadchi scolded me  
Misshimizu: I am sorry Oikawa kun  
Misshimizu: That I told everyone about your virginity  
Misshimizu: And how you are waiting for that special someone  
Misshimizu: Like a pure innocent maiden  
vcomein✌: YOU  
vcomein✌: ARE  
vcomein✌: GOING  
vcomein✌: TO  
grumpycatislol: DADCHI?  
vcomein✌: DIE  
hoot@meme: DADCHI?  
vcomein✌: A  
vcomein✌: seriously guys?  
vcomein✌: i was on a roll  
vcomein✌: wait what??!?!?!?!?!  
vcomein✌: dadchi?!?!?!?

_grumpycatislol has changed MITTY IS A MEME QUEEN to MITTY CALLED HIM DADCHI FIRST at 9:33PM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Et tu Shimizu?  
Misshimizu: Oops  
vcomein✌: you are partially forgiven for your treason  
Misshimizu: I was so worried  
Misshimizu:（￣～￣;）  
vcomein✌: bullied  
vcomein✌: all the time  
vcomein✌: i am telling iwachan  
Misshimizu: Tell him I said hi  
Sawamura_Daichi: Ask him if he wants to come over for dinner tomorrow.  
hoot@meme: TELL IWAIZUMI I WILL DEFEAT HIM AT ARM WRESTLING  
grumpycatislol: TELL IWAIZUMI THAT I AM PUTTING MY MONEY ON HIM TO DEFEAT BOKUTO AT ARM WRESTLING  
hoot@meme: rly bro i am hurt rn  
grumpycatislol: u kno u have a man crush on him 2  
hoot@meme: ...yea but still  
grumpycatislol: u r my #1 bro  
grumpycatislol: but he is an arm wrestling pro  
hoot@meme: dont talk to me rn  
grumpycatislol: im srry bro  
grumpycatislol: bro  
grumpycatislol: my brorrito  
grumpycatislol: im sorry  
grumpycatislol: bro if you wont talk to me jus listen  
grumpycatislol: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6m4FHjYINdA>  
hoot@meme: BRO  
hoot@meme: BRO Y U KNO ME SO WELL  
grumpycatislol: bc u r my one and only bro  
grumpycatislol: also come out here and help me rek dadchi at mario kart  
grumpycatislol: he has no game  
hoot@meme: LOL son he skrewd  
vcomein✌: i need to see this

**AUGUST 7th**  
_BADDE$T BITCHE$$ at 10:31PM_

YachipersonB: so  
YachipersonB: i thought you were kidding when you told me before  
YachipersonB: but after this past weekend....  
YachipersonB: they really DON’T KNOW?  
YachipersonB: ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)  
Misshimizu: I’m so embarrassed for them  
Misshimizu: ALL of them  
Misshimizu: I’m most embarrassed for Oikawa kun and Testsu kun…  
Misshimizu: Mostly because they’ve spent more years together  
YachipersonB: omg. OMg. omG. The kings have met their match. OMG.  
YachipersonB: ༼ つ ◕o◕ ༽つ  
Misshimizu: It’s been a month…  
YachipersonB: ???  
Misshimizu: Of living here and watching them all be…  
YachipersonB: idiots???  
YachipersonB: stupid????  
YachipersonB: dense???  
YachipersonB: dumdums???????? ―●○◎  
Misshimizu: Emotionally constipated  
YachipersonB: HA!  
YachipersonB: ʕ̡̢̡̡̢̡̡̢♡ᵒ̴̷͈艸ᵒ̴̷͈॰ʔ̢̡̢̢̡̢̢̡̢✧  
YachipersonB: so...youre certain that the other person feels the same way?  
Misshimizu: There is no doubt  
Misshimizu: It’s as bad if not as worse of Dadchi and Sugamama  
YachipersonB: (◍˃̶ᗜ˂̶◍)ﾉ”  
YachipersonB: well then…  
YachipersonB: what are you going to do about it?  
Misshimizu: (•ิ_•ิ)?  
YachipersonB: youre going to do something about it right?  
Misshimizu: …?  
YachipersonB: KIYOKO-SENPAI!  
Misshimizu: What?  
YachipersonB: i mean, Kiyoko-senpai…it is the perfect chance  
Misshimizu: ಠ , ಥ  
Yachiperson B: for you to have some fun!!!!  
YachipersonB: ಠ‿↼  
Misshimizu: Hitoka-chan! I am...  
YachipersonB: (╯•﹏•╰)  
Misshimizu: So proud of you  
YachipersonB: (⌒▽⌒)☆  
YachipersonB: (☆▽☆)  
YachipersonB: whats the plan capn? 1st lieutenant yachi reporting for dutyヾ(´(ｴ)｀ﾉﾞ  
Misshimizu: Reliable as ever Hitoka-chan _へ__(‾◡◝ )>  
Misshimizu: I think the first will be Testu kun  
YachipersonB: ⁽(◍˃̵͈̑ᴗ˂̵͈̑)⁽  
YachipersonB: keep me updated, Kiyoko-senpai!  
Misshimizu: Always  
Misshimizu: Good luck on your test tomorrow <3  
YachipersonB: YOU BETCHA SENPAI!!!!  
YachipersonB: ＼（＠￣∇￣＠）／

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! *bows gratefully*
> 
> References to things are intentional for the most part
> 
> Please be gentle with this (⊙﹏⊙✿)
> 
> Up next: Kuroken


	2. Kuroo, you called?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo has no chill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments and kudos!! I hope y'all enjoy this chapter :D

**AUGUST 18th**  
_DADCHI CALM DOWN at 4:11PM_

grumpycatislol: HOW COULD U DO THIS MEEEEEEE?  
grumpycatislol: I TRUSTED U  
grumpycatislol: U R SUPPOSED 2B MY 2ND BEST BRO  
grumpycatislol: I  
grumpycatislol: KNOW  
grumpycatislol: THAT  
grumpycatislol: YOU  
grumpycatislol: ARE  
grumpycatislol: READING  
grumpycatislol: THESE  
vcomein✌: HA  
vcomein✌: HA  
vcomein✌: HA  
vcomein✌: i fucking told you so  
grumpycatislol: I DO NOT NEED THIS FROM YOU RN SHITTYKAWA  
hoot@meme: BRO?  
grumpycatislol: MITTY I S2G  
hoot@meme: DUDE  
hoot@meme: ILY BUT DO NOT SWEAR AT MY MITTY  
hoot@meme: SHE IS MY WAIFU AND I LUV HER  
grumpycatislol: BRO SHE STOLE KENMA  
grumpycatislol: MY KENMA  
grumpycatislol: FROM RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE  
grumpycatislol: I AM FUCKING HYPERVENTILATING  
grumpycatislol: I FEEL BETRAYED  
grumpycatislol: MITTY I KNOW YOU ARE READING THESE

_vcomein✌ has changed DADCHI CALM DOWN to MITTY IS THE DEVIL REINCARNATE at 4:14PM_

vcomein✌: thank me l8r  
grumpycatislol: MITTY BRING BACK KENMA RN AND I PROMISE YOU NO HARM  
hoot@meme: soOOOOOO wut happnd????  
grumpcatislol: MITTY BRING KENMA BACK  
vcomein✌: mitty asked kenma to go shopping with her to help her buy someone a bday present  
grumpycatislol: OMFG TRASHKAWA DON'T REMIND MEEEEEEEeeeeEE  
vcomein✌: and he said yes and left the apartment with her  
vcomein✌: and when kuroo wanted to accompany them  
vcomein✌: kenma said it was fine  
grumpycatislol: AND MITTY BASICALLY SLAMMED THE DOOR IN MY FACE  
hoot@meme: OMG HOW DARE SHE  
hoot@meme: BUT like she is still my waifu so dnt swear@her  
Sawamura_Daichi: Change the name of the chat back, Oikawa.  
grumpycatislol: SAWAMURA.  
grumpycatislol: GET YOUR FORMER MANAGER-SLASH-CHILD UNDER CONTROL.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Technically, shouldn’t you be happy that your best friend is hanging out with someone who isn't you?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Shouldn't you be happy that he’s making other friends?  
grumpycatislol: …  
grumpycatislol: THAT IS NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW  
grumpycatislol: WHAT IF SHE LOSES HIM?  
vcomein✌: ??  
grumpycatislol: LIKE  
grumpycatislol: what if shes not paying attention and he just wanders off?  
grumpycatislol: and then he falls into a ditch  
grumpycatislol: and dies  
grumpycatislol: and then ill never see my best friend again  
grumpycatislol: all because that she-devil took him from under my nose

_vcomein✌ has changed MITTY IS THE DEVIL REINCARNATE to MITTY IS A SHE-DEVIL at 4:27PM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Oh my god, Oikawa. Change the name.  
vcomein✌: neverrrrrr  
Sawamura_Daichi: Mature. I’m going to ask Suga.  
Sawamura_Dachi: Also, Kuroo, she used to be the manager of Karasuno, so I’m sure they’ll be fine.  
grumpycatislol: IF KENMA IS NOT BACK IN ONE PIECE SAWAMURA  
grumpycatislol: I AM HOLDING YOU PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE  
grumpycatislol: AFTER MITTY GOES DOWN  
grumpycatislol: YOU ARE NEXT  
grumpycatislol: BOKUTO BRO  
hoot@meme: dnt wrry  
hoot@meme: i m in position n ready to take the shot @ ur command  
Misshimizu: Grumpy cat is not being lol right now  
grumpycatislol: TAKE THE SHOT

_MITTY IS A SHE-DEVIL at 4:59PM_

vcomein✌: bokuto i thought that mitty was your waifu  
vcomein✌: how could you shoot her then?  
vcomein✌: your affections are fickle  
vcomein✌: mitty would be better off with me  
hoot@meme: I WILL TEAR YOUR LIMBS APART IF U TRY 2 TAKE MY WAIFU FRM ME  
vcomein✌: i was just pointing out that one minute she was your waifu and the next you are willing to shoot her for kuroo  
vcomein✌: not good husbando material right there  
hoot@meme: I  
hoot@meme: ...  
vcomein✌: where do your alliances lie?  
hoot@meme: WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME??  
hoot@meme: gn  
vcomein✌: WOW  
vcomein✌: youre not even home right now  
vcomein✌: for the record of this chat  
vcomein✌: BOKUTO KOUTARO IS FICKLE AF  
hoot@meme: I HOPE YOU LOCK YOUR DOORS AT NIGHT ALIEN BOY

_Sawamura_Daichi has changed MITTY IS A SHE-DEVIL to APARTMENT 221B at 5:12PM_

vcomein✌: could you be more of a dad?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa, you are grounded.  
hoot@meme: i think yes  
hoot@meme: yes he could  
vcomein✌: someone please save us all

_Baddest Bitche$$ at 11:05PM_

Misshimizu: Boys are dumb  
YachipersonB: true  
YachipersonB: but also ????  
Misshimizu: It didn’t take them an hour before they started tailing us  
Misshimizu: Testu kun and kouta kun  
YachipersonB: LOLOLOLOL  
YachipersonB: (ᗒᗜᗕ)՛̵̖  
YachipersonB: so…how did it go?  
Misshimizu: I think the gears are slowly turning  
YachipersonB: (－‸ლ)  
YachipersonB: its cause they only have vball in their heads  
Misshimizu: I think I’m going to have to whack him with a frying pan  
Misshimizu: His hair is a lot thicker than it looks  
Misshimizu: All that hair is preventing normal brain function  
YachipersonB: LOLOLOLOL  
Misshimizu: On a side note  
Misshimizu: If you don’t hear from me tomorrow  
Misshimizu: Please send help  
YachipersonB: id be worried  
YachipersonB: except  
YachipersonB: im not  
Misshimizu: I’ve trained you well  
Misshimizu: How’s everything at Karasuno?

[cut for length]

 **AUGUST 23rd**  
_APARTMENT 221B at 9:09AM_

Sawamura_Daichi: So...  
Sawamura_Daichi: Why is there a cat in the apartment?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Kuroo.  
Sawamura_Daichi: I expect that cat to be gone by the time I get back this evening.

_APARTMENT 221B at 11:20AM_

grumpycatislol: its my consolation  
grumpycatislol: as i no longer hve a best friend  
grumpycatislol: bc mitty STOLE him frm me  
grumpycatislol: so this cat is my new kenma  
grumpycatislol: bc i named him kenma jr  
Sawamura_Daichi: As long as you feed and take care of it, I have no objections. What about the rest of you?  
vcomein✌: ugh  
vcomein✌: no  
vcomein✌: we already have enough cats here  
vcomein✌: well one cat and one dumb owl  
vcomein✌: stop staring at me kuroo  
vcomein✌: fine  
vcomein✌: as long as it stays in your room at night  
hoot@meme: A NEW CAT SON  
Misshimizu: This one could leave you too  
grumpycatislol: U KNO WUT MITTY  
grumpycatislol: LETS GO  
grumpycatislol: RN  
grumpycatislol: U N ME

 **AUGUST 25th**  
_APARTMENT 221B at 5:28PM_

grumpycatislol: bro

_APARTMENT 221B at 5:30PM_

grumpcatislol: guys  
grumpycatislol: guyzzzzzz

_APARTMENT 221B at 5:35PM_

grumpycatislol: ANY1

_APARTMENT 221B at 5:41PM_

grumpycatislol: brO  
grumpycatislol: BRO  
grumpcatislol: MY BRO SUPREME  
grumpycatislol: BOKUTO KOUTARO

_APARTMENT 221B at 5:43PM_

hoot@meme: bro sry  
hoot@meme: was in the shower  
grumpycatislol: is ok  
grumpycatislol: i forgive u  
hoot@meme: wassup  
grumpcatislol: did u kno that tsukki has a bf????!!!!!  
hoot@meme: WAT??!!!! NOOOOOOOOoooooOOO  
hoot@meme: WAT KIND OF BRO IS HE?  
grumpycatislol: I KNO RIGHT?  
hoot@meme: HOW COULD HE KEEP THIS SECRET FROM US?  
hoot@meme: JKJKJKJK LOL LOL  
grumpycatislol: ??  
hoot@meme: ??????  
grumpycatislol: wuts so funny?  
hoot@meme: u werent jking?  
grumpycatislol: abt?  
hoot@meme: tsukki and bf?  
grumpcatislol: no?  
hoot@meme: ...  
hoot@meme: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  
hoot@meme: KUROO BRO  
hoot@meme: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  
hoot@meme: DO U NT HVE EYES????  
hoot@meme: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA  
hoot@meme: i totes knew that tsukki had a bf  
grumpycatislol: HE TOLD U?  
grumpycatislol: I THOUGHT WE WERE MIDDLE BLOCKER BROS  
hoot@meme: nah i asked if tht freckles kid was his bf n he said yea boi  
hoot@meme: HOOT HOOT  
hoot@meme: i cnt believe u didnt kno tho...  
hoot@meme: AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAh

_vcomein✌ has changed APARMENT 221B to KUROO IS DENSE AF at 5:47PM_

grumpycatislol: stfu oikawa  
vcomein✌: even i knew that glasses kid and freckles kid from karasuno were together  
grumpycatislol: nobdy askd u  
hoot@meme: WAIT  
hoot@meme: howd u find this out?  
grumpycatislol: tsukki askd m for reltnship advice  
vcomein✌: puh-lease  
vcomein✌: dont lie to us kuroo  
hoot@meme: TSUKKI ASKD U FOR RLTSHP ADVICE?  
hoot@meme: N NOT ME?????  
hoot@meme: WAT IS THE WORLD COMING 2?  
vcomein✌: yes what is it coming to...  
hoot@meme: bro  
hoot@meme: did u just call urself his senpai in love?  
grumpycatislol: no...  
hoot@meme: >>TsukishimaK: Yes, Kuroo-san kept calling himself my senpai in love. I blocked him because it was getting irritating.  
grumpycatislol: thats a diff kuroo  
hoot@meme: bro  
hoot@meme: thats a  
grumpycatislol: dont say it  
grumpcatislol: a moment of weakness ok?  
hoot@meme: new low  
vcomein✌: coming from bokuto that is a new low  
grumpycatislol: U KNO WUT  
grumpycatislol: MY NERVES HAVE BEEN A WRECK SINCE MITTY STOLE MY KENMA OK?  
grumpycatislol: U TRY HAVING UR BEST FRIEND STOLN FRM U  
hoot@meme: WAIT  
hoot@meme: wht do u mean by this oikawa?  
>>vcomein✌: coming from bokuto that is a new low  
hoot@meme: oikawa?  
hoot@meme: OI DONT IGNORE ME  
vcomein✌: g2g to classs ttyl  
hoot@meme: U HVE MORN CLASSES  
hoot@meme: ALSO ITS FRI  
hoot@meme: U DONT HAVE FRIDAY CLASSES  
hoot@meme: OIKAWA  
hoot@meme: O  
hoot@meme: I  
hoot@meme: K  
hoot@meme: A  
hoot@meme: W  
hoot@meme: A  
hoot@meme: T  
hoot@meme: O  
hoot@meme: O  
hoot@meme: R  
hoot@meme: U  
grumpycatislol: bokuto bro  
grumpycatislol: hes not coming back  
hoot@meme: ill wait  
Sawamura_Daichi: Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are together?  
vcomein✌: omg  
grumpycatislol: omg  
hoot@meme: omg  
hoot@meme: omg  
hoot@meme: omg  
hoot@meme: oh. my. god.  
vcomein✌: bokuto has gone in shock  
vcomein✌: hes not using caps  
grumpycatislol: wat kinda dad r u dadchi?  
Misshimizu: I can't believe I'm asking this but you being serious right daichi kun?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Yes?  
Sawamura_Daichi: You knew?  
Misshimizu: Yes?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Did everyone else on the team know?  
Misshimizu: Yes?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Why didn't you tell me?  
Misshimizu: Because it was obvious  
grumpcatislol: i hve nothing 2 say rn  
hoot@meme: weve reachd a new low  
vcomein✌: i dont even have the heart to make fun of him for this  
vcomein✌: u guys free?  
vcomein✌: lets go drink  
Misshimizu: Without daichi kun  
Misshimizu: His stupidity might be contagious  
hoot@meme: LOLOLOLOLOLOL  
grumpcatislol: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  
hoot@meme: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  
Sawamura_Daichi: It was an honest mistake!  
vcomein✌: walk faster he's trying to catch up

 **AUGUST 26th**  
_MITTY AND I HAVE ADOPTED KENMA 2.0 at 3:28AM_

grumpycatislol: FI THINK IM NIN LOVE WITH KANME  
vcomein✌: kanme?  
grumpycatislol: YES KENMA  
vcomein✌: yeah we know  
vcomein✌: youve been drunkingly sobbing about it for the last hour after you returned from the bar  
grumpycatislol: DO RYOU KNOW OIKYAWA?  
vcomein✌: bokuto are you asleep already?  
grumpycatislol: I LOYVE HIM  
grumpycatislol: TLILKE ACTUALLY LOEV HIM  
grumpycatislol: LIKE I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY DLIFE WITH HHIA  
grumpycatislol: MND HAVE A FAMILY WITH HIMS  
vcomein✌: you are texting what you are shouting at me  
vcomein✌: i know  
vcomein✌: how did you not know until now?  
vcomein✌: how are the rest of your sleeping through this?  
vcomein✌: sawamura  
vcomein✌: mitty  
vcomein✌: bokuto  
vcomein✌: are you all dead?  
grumpycatislol: AND  
grumpycatislol: DO YOU FTHINK HKE LOVES MEE?  
grumpycatislol: DO YOU THINK HE WANSTS TO SAPEND KTHE REST OOF HIS LDIFE WIGTH ME?  
grumpycatislol: BKENMA 2.0  
grumpycatislol: ANSWEUR MY QUESTIONS  
grumpycatislol: KENMA 2.0 JUST GLARED AT YME THE WEAY KENMA 1.Y0 WOULD AND HETN WALKED AWAY  
grumpycatislol: THIS IS YA SIGN  
vcomein✌: omfg  
vcomein✌: drink some water  
grumpycatislol: KEHHHHHHNNNNMA HAAAAAAATEEES MEEEE  
grumpycatislol: I AM GOKING TO DAIE ALOZNE  
grumpycatislol: WITHOUT MY EKNMA  
grumpycatislol: BECAURSE MITTY STOLE HSI HEACRT FGROM WME  
vcomein✌: i dont have the energy for this  
vcomein✌: goodnight kuroo  
grumpycatislol: OJIKAWA HOLD ME  
grumpycatislol: DONT RUN AWAYYYYY  
grumpycatislol: EYYLYYT ME NINTO YOUR ROOOOOOOOOOOVO  
vcomein✌: SHUT UP  
grumpycatislol: KEMEN TRASHKAWA HATES ME  
grumpycatislol: AMY LIFE IS A BARREN DESERT  
grumpycatislol: OF LONELINESS  
grumpycatislol: WHEN THDE RESHT OF YNOU DITCHERLS REEAD THIS  
grumpycatislol: I WVILL BE DEAD  
grumpycatislol: I LEAVE MCY HATTS TUO YOU BOKUKTO BRO  
grumpycatislol: TYHE RESGT IS FOKR KENMA MY LOVE  
Sawamura_Daichi: I can't deal with this right now.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Go to bed, Kuroo.

_Misshimizu has changed MITTY AND I HAVE ADOPTED KENMA 2.0 to JUST ASK KENMA OUT AND STFU at 8:40AM_

vcomein✌: someone is salty this morning

 **AUGUST 31ST**  
_BOKUTO, MITTY MY WAIFU at 8:54PM_

hoot@meme: AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH  
hoot@meme: guys

_BOKUTO, MITTY MY WAIFU at 8:58PM_

hoot@meme: GuYs  
hoot@meme: GUys  
hoot@meme: GUYS

_BOKUTO, MITTY MY WAIFU at 9:00PM_

vcomein✌: omg bokuto  
vcomein✌: dont call me im in the lib  
vcomein✌: what?  
vcomein✌: WHAT IS IT BOKUTO?  
vcomein✌: some of us have to study  
vcomein✌: some of us actually go to class  
vcomein✌: take exams  
vcomein✌: and want to be fuctioning members of society  
hoot@meme: kuroo just txted me aftr his din w kenma  
hoot@meme: and  
hoot@meme: wen he askd kenma if he wanted to be his bf  
hoot@meme: kenma just went  
hoot@meme: o were we not dating already  
hoot@meme: HAHAHAHAHAH  
hoot@meme: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  
grumpycatislol: DUDE  
grumpycatislol: I TOLD U THAT IN STRICTEST BROFIDENCE  
Sawamura_Daichi: Congratulations, Kuroo. I am happy for you guys. Tell Kenma he's welcome to come over anytime.  
vcomein✌: woooOOOOOW  
vcomein✌: congrats kuroo  
vcomein✌: i feel that i should get some sort of gift for helping you guys get together  
grumpycatislol: wat da fuk u smokin bruh  
vcomein✌: i had to listen to you sob about it a few nights ago  
vcomein✌: in case you dont rememeber  
vcomein✌: i have videos of parts of it  
vcomein✌: for the future  
vcomein✌: if need be  
grumpycatislol: u r a terrible person  
vcomein✌: takes one to know one  
grumpycatislol: at least i hve a better half  
grumpycatislol: named kozume kenma  
grumpycatislol: my beautiful BOYFRIEND  
grumpcatislol: u could say hes  
vcomein✌: dont you dare  
grumpycatislol: purrrrrrfect  
hoot@meme: HOOT HOOT  
vcomein✌: stfu  
vcomein✌: u dont need to rub it in

_BOKUTO, MITTY MY WAIFU at 9:57PM_

vcomein✌: stop changing all your stuff on fb kuroo  
vcomein✌: you are spamming up my feed  
vcomein✌: WE GET IT YOU ARE HAPPY  
hoot@meme: some1 is bng kinda salty  
hoot@meme: like big old salt flakes sea salt kinda salty  
vcomein✌: SHUT UP BOKUTO

_BOKUTO, MITTY MY WAIFU at 11:01PM_

Misshimizu: Took you long enough  
Misshimizu: But  
Misshimizu: I'm happy for you two testu kun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo is a dweeb when it comes to Kenma aka Kanme  
> Bokuto is the captain of the kuroken ship  
> Dadchi is just trying to be a good dad  
> Oikawa is trying to be a functioning member of society  
> Kiyoko is probably enjoying torturing her roommates more than she should be  
> Up next: Oikawa vs Kiyoko ft. Iwachan


	3. Sign us up for the Iwachan Fan Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo shows that he is truly always this kind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot longer than I intended but I got caught up in Seijou feels

**SEPTEMBER 3rd**  
_KUROO IN LOVE IS THE WORST at 10:01AM_

grumpycatislol: love consultations r now opn  
vcomein✌: omg stop  
vcomein✌: we can't even change the groupchat name to kuroo is the senpai in love anymore  
grumpcatislol: OMG GREAT IDEA OIKAWA

_grumpycatislol has changed KUROO IN LOVE IN THE WORST to KUROO IS THE LOVE SENPAI at 10:03AM_

_vcomein✌ has changed KUROO IS THE LOVE SENPAI to LETS TAKE A VOTE TO KILL KUROO (I VOTE YES) at 10:03AM_

grumpycatislol: som1 is feeling unlovd this morn  
grumpycatislol: FEEEEEEEEEEEEL THE LOVE OIKAWA  
grumpycatislol: I HVE LOOOOOOOOVE 2 SPAREEEEEEE  
grumpycatislol: LET ME LOOOOOOOVEEE UUUUUUUUU  
vcomein✌: have you left the apartment yet?  
grumpycatislol: um yea?  
vcomein✌: damn i wanted to bash your head in with a frying pan  
grumpycatislol: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww ily2  
grumpycatislol: r u angry bc iwaizumi ditchd u this weeknd  
vcomein✌: yes  
vcomein✌: NO I MEANT NO  
vcomein✌: wait  
vcomein✌: how did you know?  
grumpycatislol: iwaizumi told me hes g2 his coz weddin  
vcomein✌: yeah he's going to his cousin's wHAT?  
vcomein✌: WHAT?  
vcomein✌: YOU TALKED TO IWACHAN?  
grumpycatislol: yea we txt bruh  
vcomein✌: WHAT?  
vcomein✌: EH?  
hoot@meme: yea  
vcomein✌: YOU TEXT IWACHAN TOO?  
hoot@meme: yea?  
vcomein✌: WHAT?  
hoot@meme: WHAT?  
vcomein✌: WHAT?  
hoot@meme: WHAT?  
vcomein✌: EH?  
hoot@meme: EH?  
hoot@meme: yea hes going w mitty  
hoot@meme: MY WAIFUUUUUU  
vcomein✌: WAIT WHAT?  
hoot@meme: WHAT?  
vcomein✌: WHAT?  
hoot@meme: WHAT?  
vcomein✌: HE'S GOING TO THE WEDDING WITH MITTY?  
hoot@meme: yea?  
grumpycatislol: u broke him dude  
vcomein✌: >>vcomein✌: did you invite mitty to your cousins wedding?  
>>IwaizumiHajime: Yeah  
>>IwaizumiHajime: So?  
>>vcomein✌: why didn't you invite me?  
>>IwaizumiHajime: You always get shitfaced when there's an open bar and it's embarrassing  
>>vcomein✌: MITTY WHAT  
>>vcomein✌: OMG IWACHAN that was one time  
>>IwaizumiHajime: One time too many...  
grumpycatislol: jeez oikawa  
grumpycatislol: lrn som ctrl  
grumpcatislol: no wonder iwaizumi ddnt invit u  
vcomein✌: STFU KUROO  
vcomein✌: I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS RIGHT NOW  
vcomein✌: SAWAMURA  
vcomein✌: WAKE UP  
vcomein✌: NO YOU'RE NOT HOME  
vcomein✌: NEITHER IS MITTY  
vcomein✌: WHERE ARE YOU?  
vcomein✌: WHY IS ONLY BOKUTO HERE?  
vcomein✌: SAWAMURA DAICHI  
vcomein✌: SHIMIZU KIYOKO  
vcomein✌: WHAT  
vcomein✌: IWACHAN ISN'T RESPONDING TO ME  
vcomein✌: WHAT  
vcomein✌: IS THIS REAL??  
vcomein✌: WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW  
hoot@meme: U R RUNNIN ROUND THE APT YELLING WAT  
hoot@meme: thats wats happn rn  
vcomein✌: IT WAS RHETORICAL BOKUTO  
vcomein✌: MITTY ANSWER ME  
vcomein✌: SAWAMURA ANSWER ME  
vcomein✌: PICK UP YOUR PHONES  
vcomein✌: OMG IWACHAN JUST SENT ME TO VOICEMAIL  
vcomein✌: WHAT  
hoot@meme: kuroo where u @?  
hoot@meme: u r missing gold rn  
grumpcatislol: snap me  
hoot@meme: i am  
vcomein✌: THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR BLACKMAIL  
vcomein✌: SAWAMURA

_Misshimizu has changed LETS TAKE A VOTE TO KILL KUROO to OIKAWA IS A SLOPPY DRUNK at 10:13AM_

vcomein✌: MITTY  
vcomein✌: ANSWER YOUR PHONE  
vcomein✌: WE NEED TO TALK  
vcomein✌: MITTY  
vcomein✌: DONT SEND ME TO VOICEMAIL  
vcomein✌: MITTY  
grumpycatislol: r those alien bxers?  
hoot@meme: yes yes THEY R  
vcomein✌: CAN YOU TWO FOCUS?  
grumpycatislol: how old r those?  
hoot@meme: u cnt tell cuz snap is grainy  
hoot@meme: but they r fraying  
hoot@meme: NICE CHOICE BRO  
grumpycatislol: got2 sve these scrnshots  
vcomein✌: MITTY I S2G PICK UP YOUR PHONE  
grumpcatyislol: to fb or not to fb  
grumpycatislol: bro?  
vcomein✌: MITTY PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE  
hoot@meme: u keep this photo like a prec gem  
hoot@meme: n then cash in  
hoot@meme: wen u needs it  
Misshimizu: Wwwwwe're ggoinnng thhhrough ttttunnelssss sorry  
Misshimizu: ssSignal iis not soo gooooood  
vcomein✌: THAT ISN'T HOW TEXTING WORKS MITTY  
vcomein✌: I KNOW YOUR SIGNAL IS FINE  
Misshimizu: Cccccan't ttalllk  
Misshimizu: GottttttoooOoo goooooo  
Misshimizu: Have a good weekend oikawa kun ^_^  
vcomein✌: OMFG MITTY  
vcomein✌: DON'T YOU DARE  
vcomein✌: MITTY  
vcomein✌: I WILL FUCKING COME TO MIYAGI IF YOU DON'T ANSWER YOUR PHONE  
vcomein✌: I AM GETTING IN THE CAR  
hoot@meme: no he isnt  
hoot@meme: he cant drive  
vcomein✌: SAWAMURA ANSWER YOUR GODDAM PHONE

_OIKAWA IS A SLOPPY DRUNK at 10:35AM_

grumpycatislol: DUDE BRUH  
grumpycatislol: did u just wack him on the head?  
grumpycatislol: y is he on the flooor?  
hoot@meme: i may or m not have hit him w frying pan  
hoot@meme: don tell akaashi  
grumpycatislol: bro  
hoot@meme: or I WILL TELL KENMA ABT THAT THING  
gumpycatislol: u wouldnt dare  
grumpycatislol: i trustd u  
grumpycatislol: bro  
grumpycatislol: BRUH  
grumpycatislol: OMG BOKUTO  
>>applepi: bokuto-san said that u did smthg  
>>applepi: ??  
>>applepi: should i be concerned?  
grumpycatislol: IM DELETING THE SCRNSHOT  
hoot@meme: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
grumpycatislol: oikawa is a bad infl on u

_OIKAWA IS A SLOPPY DRUNK at 12:01PM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Yes, Oikawa? What is it?  
vcomein✌: WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?  
vcomein✌: no you know what never mind  
vcomein✌: WHY IS YOUR GODDAM EX MANAGER GOING TO A WEDDING WITH IWACHAN?  
Sawamura_Daichi: I assume it's because Iwaizumi invited her.  
vcomein✌: no shit sherlock  
vcomein✌: and why did he invite her?  
vcomein✌: how did he invite her?  
vcomein✌: do they have class together?  
vcomein✌: NO  
vcomein✌: do they hang out?  
vcomein✌: NO  
vcomein✌: are they dating?  
vcomein✌: sawamura?  
vcomein✌: are they dating?  
vcomein✌: WELL ARE THEY?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oh, that wasn't rhetorical?  
Sawamura_Daichi: I couldn't tell because you kept answering and I didn't know whether it was my turn to answer or...  
vcomein✌: OMFG SAWAMURA JUST ANSWER THE GODDAM QUESTION  
Sawamura_Daichi: Which one?  
vcomein✌: ARE THEY DATING? MITTY THAT SLUT AND IWACHAN THAT BACKSTABBING WHORE TRAITOR OF A BEST FRIEND  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa, I am going to let your name calling slide this time because I can see you are under a great amount of stress.  
vcomein✌: JUST ANSWER THE MOTHERFUCKING QUESTION SAWAMURA  
Sawamura_Daichi: I think we should set up a swear jar.  
Sawamura_Daichi: You all need to get your mouths under control.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Honestly, the number of times I hear the f-word come out of your mouths is deplorable.  
vcomein✌: SAWAMURA WHAT PART OF ANSWER THE MOTHERFUCKING QUESTION DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?  
Sawamura_Daichi: No, they are not dating, Oikawa.  
vcomein✌: then WHY ARE THEY GOING TO A WEDDING TOGETHER? HMMMMMMMMMMMM?  
Sawamura_Daichi: As I said before, I assume it's because Iwaizumi asked her to go with him.  
vcomein✌: ARE YOU BEING DENSE ON PURPOSE?  
Sawamura_Daichi: I think they are texting buddies and it just came up in conversation one day that he didn't have a date because he didn't want to bring you.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Also, why are you asking me this? Just ask Iwaizumi.  
vcomein✌: WHY DO YOU THINK?  
vcomein✌: HE BLOCKED ME  
Sawamura_Daichi: Are you sure?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Maybe he just has bad reception. No wait.  
Sawamura_Daichi: >>Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa thinks you blocked him on chat.  
>>IwaizumiHajime: I did  
>>IwaizumiHajime: I apologize in advance for all the trouble he's going to cause but I don't want my phone blowing up all weekend  
>>Sawamura_Daichi: Oh, I understand.  
>>Sawamura_Daichi: Have a good time at the wedding. Tell Shimizu I say hello.  
>>IwaizumiHajime: Thanks  
>>IwaizumiHajime: She says she'll send you snaps  
vcomein✌: you text iwachan too?  
vcomein✌: DOES EVERYONE HAVE HIS NUMBER?  
Sawamura_Daichi: No, I don't think everyone in the whole world has his number.  
vcomein✌: I DON'T MEAN EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD SAWAMURA  
vcomein✌: I MEAN THAT LIVES IN THIS APARTMENT  
Sawamura_Daichi: Yes, I'm pretty sure that everyone has his number.  
vcomein✌: GREAT JUST GREAT  
vcomein✌: SOME BEST FRIEND HE TURNED OUT TO BE  
vcomein✌: YOU TELL THAT TRAITOR IWAIZUMI-EVERYONES-FUCKING-BEST-FRIEND-HAJIME THAT I HOPE HE FALLS ON HIS FACE ON THE DANCE FLOOR AND EVERYONE LAUGHS AT HIM  
vcomein✌: AND YOU TELL HIM THAT WE ARE NO LONG BEST FRIENDS  
vcomein✌: AND THAT HE IS A FUCKING TRAITOROUS SLUT  
vcomein✌: AND THAT HE AND MITTY ARE BOTH DEAD TO ME  
vcomein✌: DEAD. TO. ME.  
vcomein✌: make sure to pass this along sawamura  
vcomein✌: to that fucker  
Sawamura_Daichi: >>Sawamura_Daichi: Yes, that is what he said.  
>>IwaizumiHajime: Lol  
>>IwaiziumiHajime: Tell him to calm down or else he's going to make himself sick  
vcomein✌: tell that shitter thst I AM A GROWN ASS MAN AND WILL DO AS I FUCKING PLEASE

_OIKAWA TOORU IS A SLOPPY DRUNK at 4:41PM_

grumpycatislol: >>Sawamura_Daichi: Honestly, the number of times I hear the f-word come out of your mouths is deplorable.  
grumpycatislol: um wut?

grumpycatislol has changed OIKAWA TOORU IS A SLOPPY DRUNK to DADCHI JUST CALLED IT THE F-WORD at 4:42PM

grumpycatislol: prty sur i heard u say fuck yestdy wen i wrekt u in mario kart...  
hoot@meme: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  
grumpycatislol: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  
hoot@meme: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[cut for length]

grumpycatislol: anyways  
grumpycatislol: u want 2 play som mario kart wen u gt bk?  
hoot@meme: obvi bruh

_Baddest Bitche$$ at 6:07PM_

YachipersonB: ಥ_ಥ  
YachipersonB: i feel sorta bad for oikawa-san...

_Baddest Bitche$$ at 6:17PM_

Misshimizu: ?  
Misshimizu: Ohhh you finished reading the texts?  
YachipersonB: (*＾▽＾)b  
YachipersonB: you can really see the downward spiral here  
>>vcomein✌: GREAT JUST GREAT  
>>vcomein✌: SOME BEST FRIEND HE TURNED OUT TO BE  
>>vcomein✌: YOU TELL THAT TRAITOR IWAIZUMI-EVERYONES-FUCKING-BEST-FRIEND-HAJIME THAT I HOPE HE FALLS ON HIS FACE ON THE DANCE FLOOR AND EVERYONE LAUGHS AT HIM  
>>vcomein✌: AND YOU TELL HIM THAT WE ARE NO LONG BEST FRIENDS  
>>vcomein✌: AND THAT HE IS A FUCKING TRAITOROUS SLUT  
>>vcomein✌: AND THAT HE AND MITTY ARE BOTH DEAD TO ME  
>>vcomein✌: DEAD. TO. ME.  
YachipersonB: his decline into insanity is vv clear  
YachipersonB: i feel like i should submit this to some sort of case study  
Misshimizu: Yeah...  
Misshimizu: It almost made me want to explain why I decided to go to the wedding with his precious Iwachan  
Misshimizu: But then when I showed this to Iwaizumi kun he just snorted and crossed his arms and said it served Oikawa kun right and then proceeded to take a nap on the train  
Misshimizu: So then I remembered  
YachipersonB: that iwaizumi-san is denser than sawamura-senpai?  
Misshimizu: Yes  
Misshimiuz: Please don't remind me about that embarrassment  
YachipersonB: poor sugawara-senpai  
YachipersonB: (っ- ‸ – ς)  
Misshimizu: I will sort out that headache later  
YachiperonB: aye aye capn  
YachipersonB: ―(≧∀≦)ゞ  
Misshimizu: Back to this train wreck  
Misshimizu: I feel like oikawa kun will figure it out on his own but iwaizumi kun needs a little push  
YachipersonB: i understand  
Misshimizu: Plus I wanted to eat some free food  
YachipersonB: (๑❛ꇳ❛๑)  
YachipersonB: hehe kiyoko-senpai  
YachipersonB: i hope iwaizumi-san connects the dots sooner rather than later  
YachipersonB: for oikawa-sans sake  
Misshimizu: That's why I'm going to this wedding  
Misshimizu: Someone has to eat the free food  
YachipersonB: kiyoko-senpai...  
Misshimizu: And help these two idiots   
YachipersonB: hinata said that kenma-san is very happy dating kuroo-san btw  
YachipersonB: kenma-san tells hinata about all the nice things kuroo-san does  
YachipersonB: i was suprised when i first heard that kuroo-san is nice because he looks really scary  
Misshimizu: Hitoka chan you're scared of everyone taller than hinata  
YachipersonB: shhhhh senpai  
YachipersonB: kuroo-san always has a menacing look  
Misshimizu: He's probably squinting because he can't see you through his ridiculous hair  
Misshimizu: Next time you come over  
Misshimizu: Maybe with hinata kun  
Misshimizu: You should spend more time with testu kun  
Misshimizu: And I'm glad he makes kenma happy  
YachipersonB: but you know what this means??  
YachipersonB: YOU ARE LIKE A REAL MATCHMAKER NOW!  
Misshimizu: I don't think that's quite how it works hitoka chan...  
YachipersonB: BUT SENPAI  
Misshimizu: I'm glad you think that anyways  
Misshimizu: I have to go  
Misshimizu: Iwaizumi kun said that there is a really good agadashi tofu place he wants to go to before dinner  
YachipersonB: okayyyyyyy  
YachipersonB: ―(≧∀≦)ゞ  
YachipersonB: have fun kiyoko-senpai!!  
YachipersonB: send me lots of snaps!!  
Misshimizu: You know it  
YachipersonB: please don't be too mean to oikawa-san  
Misshimizu: Ah well I make no promises there  
Misshimizu: But I'll try  
YachipersonB: (*＾▽＾)b

 **September 4th**  
_DADCHI HAS TO PUT $$ INTO THE SWEAR JAR at 10:10AM_

hoot@meme: ohoho  
hoot@meme: oikawa  
hoot@meme: 2 mak u feel btr  
hoot@meme: cuz im such a carng guy  
hoot@meme: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ>  
vcomein✌: DID YOU JUST FUCKING RICKROLL ME?  
hoot@meme: its cuz u meme so much 2me  
vcomein✌: OMFG BOKUTO  
vcomein✌: WHERE ARE YOU?  
hoot@meme: [gtg](http://therumpus.tumblr.com/post/43990090496/heres-todays-daily-gif)  
hoot@meme: call of the wild  
hoot@meme: hoot hooot  
vcomein✌: wtf you mean call of the wild  
vcomein✌: COME BACK HERE YOU SHIT  
vcomein✌: IDK IF YOU CAN TELL BUT I AM NOT IN THE MOOD THIS WEEKEND  
vcomein✌: AND ESPECIALLY RN  
vcomein✌: AS I AM OPENING ALL OF MITTY'S FUCKING SNAPS  
vcomein✌: DID SHE HONESTLY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN SEND ME LIKE 20 GODDAM SNAPS OF HER AND IWACHAN?????????  
vcomein✌: AND IWACHAN IS STLL NOT ANSWERING HIS FUCKING PHONE  
vcomein✌: OR HIS TEXTS  
vcomein✌: NONE OF THEM  
vcomein✌: OMG THE FUCKING NERVE  
vcomein✌: >>vcomein✌: IWACHAN  
>>yesdisdoge: From the Office of Hanamaki & Mastukawa, LLC  
>>vcomein✌: IWACHAN I KNOW YOU ARE READING THESE  
>>vcomein✌: IWAIZUMI HAJIME  
>>vcomein✌: PICK UP YOUR GODDAM PHONE HAJIME  
>>iCENAwutudid: Dear Mr. Oikawa Tooru:  
>>yesdisdoge: This CEASE AND DESIST ORDER is to inform you that your harassing and intimidating actions against our client, Iwaizumi Hajime, have become unbearable.  
>>iCENAwutudid: Such anti-social behavior is completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated in any way, shape, or form.  
>>yesdisdoge: This letter is to demand that your harassment and intimidation must CEASE AND DESIST immediately.  
>>iCENAwutudid: Should you continue to pursue these activities in violation of this CEASE AND DESIST ORDER, we, with the explicit agreement of our client, Iwaizumi Hajime, will not hesitate to pursue further legal action against you, including, but not limited to, civil action and/or criminal complaints.  
hoot@meme: sooOOOOOOOOOO OIKAWA  
hoot@meme: who is this iCENAwutudid and yesdisdoge?????  
vcomein✌: GODDAM SLUTTY PIECE OF BACKSTABBING WHORES THEY ARE  
hoot@meme: uh huh uh huh  
hoot@meme: rit rit  
vcomein✌: FUCKING LOOK AT THIS  
>>yahabashigeru: oikawa-senpai  
>>vcomein✌: IWACHAN JUST ANSWER ME AND I WILL STOP  
>>yahabashigeru: iwaizumi-san asked me to tell you to please stop spamming all the groupchats  
>>yahabashigeru: including but not limited to this one and the other one you have with both matsukawa-san and hanamaki-san  
>>yesdisdoge: From the Office of Hanamaki & Matsukawa, LLC   
>>yahabashigeru: and that if you don't stop he will not talk to you forever or something like that   
hoot@meme: rit but  
vcomein✌: what are they doing in this picture???

vcomein✌ sent an image at 10:19AM

vcomein✌: LOOK  
vcomein✌: AT  
vcomein✌: IT  
vcomein✌: ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT IT?  
vcomein✌: UGHHHHHHHHHH

_DADCHI HAS TO PUT $$ INTO THE SWEAR JAR at 10:25 AM_

vcomein✌: they look really disgustingly cute together  
vcomein✌: almost like a couple  
vcomein✌: so gross  
vcomein✌: look at iwachan's face  
vcomein✌: looks like an angry gorilla  
vcomein✌: that backstabbing traitor of a best friend

vcomein✌ sent an image at 10:26AM

vcomein✌: and do you think people will think they're together?  
vcomein✌: unlike what i previously thought  
vcomein✌: he does not have wrinkles yet...

vcomein✌ sent an image at 10:31AM

vcomein✌: don't they look all coupley here??  
vcomein✌: iwachan never poses in my picture  
vcomein✌: he never smiles for that matter  
vcomein✌: he always looks like he wants to kill me whenever we take selfies...

vcomein✌ sent an image at 10:37AM

vcomein✌: guys?

_DADCHI HAS TO PUT $$ INTO THE SWEAR JAR at 12:44PM_

vcomein✌: if any of you have heard from iwachan please let me know  
vcomein✌: or tell just tell him to read his texts  
vcomein✌: i stopped sending angry ones  
vcomein✌: well for the most part  
vcomein✌: tell him i take back what i said  
vcomein✌: he's still my best friend  
vcomein✌: he'll always be my best friend  
vcomein✌: even if he likes mitty

_DADCHI HAS TO PUT $$ INTO THE SWEAR JAR at 1:17PM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Ah, sorry. I slept through my alarm.  
Sawamura_Daichi: I had so many exams this week.  
Sawamura_Daichi: I just needed to catch up on my sleep.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa, you know that he's just going to a wedding with Shimizu platonically, right?  
Sawamura_Daichi: They are no romantic feelings between them.  
Sawamura_Daichi: And I'm sure Iwaizumi did not once take your threat seriously.  
Sawamura_Daichi: He's stuck with you for this long, I don't think that just because you told him he's dead to you yesterday will break your friendship or change it in anyway.  
vcomein✌: yeah but how can you know?  
vcomein✌: how can you know its platonic?  
vcomein✌: you saw those snaps i sent screenshots of  
vcomein✌: they look like a really cute couple  
vcomein✌: and this is the longest time iwachan and i have gone not talking in our whole lives  
grumpycatislol: gd morn  
vcomein✌: it's fucking 1 in the afternoon  
grumpycatislol: SEMANTICS  
grumpycatislol: ANYWAYS  
grumpycatislol: as my main bro asked  
grumpycatislol: who is iCENAwutudid and yesdisdoge??  
vcomein✌: mattsun and makki  
grumpycatislol: oh rit mattsun and makki rit rit  
grumpycatislol: mhm mattsun and makki   
grumpycatislol: good good  
grumpycatislol: AND Y HAVNT WE BEEN INTRODUCED?  
vcomein✌: you think i want meme trash to interact?  
grumpycatislol: im offended  
grumpycatislol: but also ur joking rit oikawa?  
vcomein✌: about meme trash interacting? no  
grumpycatislol: no  
grumpycatislol: this bein the longst tim u and iwaizumi hav gon w o talkng  
vcomein✌: no...?  
grumpycatislol: wut abt be4 u had cellphones?  
grumpycatislol: lik elem skool?  
vcomein✌: we would use our house phones and call each other?  
vcomein✌: also we're neighbors like you and kenma so we'd just go over each others houses every day?  
grumpycatislol: there wer def som weeknds kenma n i didnt talk  
grumpycatislol: n evn now there r def som days kenma n i dont talk  
grumpycatislol: bc he forgets 2 respnd wen playin da gamz  
grumpycatislol: CURSE THOSE GAMES  
grumpycatislol: don tell kenma that i sd that  
vcomein✌: iwachan and i talked every day  
grumpycatislol: im buyin him a vidgam for our 100 days  
vcomein✌: or went over to play every day  
grumpycatislol: also dont tell him i said that  
grumpycatislol: caus it a surpriz  
vcomein✌: even weekends  
grumpycatislol: bokuto bro i am lookin @u  
vcomein✌: and when one of us went on vacation  
vcomein✌: our parents would let us use their phones to call each other so we could talk while we were away  
vcomein✌: and we would write postcards and stuff too  
vcomein✌: JESUS KUROO DID YOU HAVE TO INTERRUPT ME?  
grumpycatislol: dere he be  
grumpycatislol: oikawa tat haznot da cHiLl  
grumpycatislol: ANYWAYS  
grumpycatislol: you know that your and iwaizumis relationship is unhealthy right?  
vcomein✌: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ASSHOLE?  
vcomein✌: WE HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP  
grumpycatislol: im just saying you guys are hella codependent  
grumpycatislol: you know that right?  
vcomein✌: you think iwachan and i are codependent...?  
grumpycatislol: uh...yea?  
vcomein✌: its cause we're childhood friends!  
vcomein✌: you and kenma are close too  
grumpycatislol: i mean yea but  
grumpycatislol: 1) when we were just friends we didnt hang out nearly as much as you and iwaizumi do  
grumpycatislol: 2) we are dating now so its ok  
vcomein✌: well maybe its because you and kenma have a one year age gap  
vcomein✌: so you had a whole year of your life that you lived without him  
vcomein✌: so you're used to it  
grumpycatislol: bruh i dont think thats it  
vcomein✌: well then enlighten me kuroo  
grumpycatislol: you are supposed to be scary observant  
grumpycatislol: n u were a dick wen i wantd the world 2c dat kenma n i r 2gthr on fb  
vcomein✌: YOU ARE SO PETTY kuroo  
vcomein✌: JUST TELL ME  
hoot@meme: CODEPENDENT YOU ARE MY YOUNG PADAWAN  
vcomein✌: DONT JUST COME IN HERE WITH STAR WARS REFERENCES BOKUTO  
vcomein✌: ESPECIALLY AFTER THAT RICKROLL  
vcomein✌: DONT THINK I'VE FORGOTTEN  
vcomein✌: OR THAT STAR WARS REFERENCE MADE ME FEEL BETTER  
vcomein✌: how did you learn that anyways?  
hoot@meme: uh  
hoot@meme: we r rmmts  
hoot@meme: ive seen dat movie now 1 2 mny xx  
vcomein✌: ummmm  
vcomein✌: EXCUSE ME  
vcomein✌: THERE IS NEVER ONE TOO MANY TIMES TO SEE STAR WARS  
vcomein✌: TAKE THAT BACK  
hoot@meme: now he bk ang  
vcomein✌: WHAT?  
grumpycatislol: but seriously oikawa  
grumpycatislol: think about it

 **September 12th**  
_I STILL DONT FORGIVE YOU MITTY EVEN THOUGH YOU BROUGHT CAKE at 11:57AM_

vcomein✌: MITTY HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEE?  
vcomein✌: MITTY  
vcomein✌: SHIMIZU KIYOKO  
Misshimizu: Do what to you oikawa kun?  
vcomein✌: THIS  
vcomein✌: PURPOSELY DITCH ME FOR LUNCH  
vcomein✌: IN ATTEMPT TO GET ME TO TALK TO IWACHAN  
vcomein✌: I AM NOT TALKING TO HIM  
vcomein✌: I AM LEAVING  
vcomein✌: ITS NOT GOING TO WORK  
Misshimizu: Oikawa kun  
Misshimizu: You haven't talked to iwaizumi kun for a week  
Misshimizu: Ever since we got back from his cousin's wedding  
Misshimizu: And I can't listen to you complain about it anymore  
hoot@meme: HERE HERE  
grumpycatislol: HERE HERE  
vcomein✌: were you two in on this?  
vcomein✌: BOKUTO  
vcomein✌: KUROO  
vcomein✌: ANSWER ME  
Misshimizu: Even though you say you are giving him a taste of his own medicine  
Misshimizu: Grumbling about him under your breath every day doesn't count as giving him a taste of his own medicine  
Misshimizu: So please just talk to him  
Misshimizu: And make up  
grumpycatislol: or make out  
grumpycatislol: whatev floats ur boat  
vcomein✌: make   
vcomein✌: OUT?  
vcomein✌: WHAT?  
vcomein✌: KUROO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK  
grumpycatislol: oooooooOOOOOoooo did i say dat?  
hoot@meme: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  
hoot@meme: smooth bro  
grumpycatislol: bro there arnt enuf Os in the word smooth 2 describe how smooth i am  
hoot@meme: bruh  
hoot@meme: i need 2 mak a citizens arrest against u cuz its a crim 2b dat fine  
vcomein✌: omg stop  
Misshimizu: Please just talk to iwaizumi kun  
Misshimizu: I'll buy you your favorite brand of milkbread to make up for ditching you today  
vcomein✌: really?  
Misshimizu: Yes  
grumpycatislol: brah  
hoot@meme: wut bro?  
grumpycatislol: our broment got ruined  
hoot@meme: i kno bro  
hoot@meme: im toastng som fudg u wnt?  
Sawamura_Daichi: What's a broment?  
hoot@meme: omg  
grumpycatislol: omg  
hoot@meme: OMG  
grumpycatislol: OMG  
hoot@meme: OOOMMMMMGGGG  
grumpycatislol: OOOOOOOMMMMMMGGGGGG  
hoot@meme: OOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGG  
Misshimizu: It's a moment with your bro  
Sawamura_Daichi: Did Bokuto just say he was toasting some fudge?  
Sawamura_Daichi: I'm coming home right now.  
Misshimizu: Rip Kou kun  
grumpycatislol: say ur prayrs  
grumpycatislol: u bout 2 gt wrekt  
hoot@meme: u cnt toast fudg????????

_Sawamura_Daichi has changed I STILL DONT FORGIVE YOU MITTY EVEN THOUGH YOU BROUGHT CAKE to NO YOU CANT FUCKING TOAST FUDGE BOKUTO at 12:13PM_

Misshimizu: Daichi kun  
Misshimizu: Maybe you should get rid of that swear jar...  
grumpycatislol: lolololololol  
grumpycatislol: he is single handedly fundin it  
Sawamura_Daichi: Fuck off.

 **September 18th**  
_IWACHAN IS MY BEST FRIEND (LOOKING AT YOU KUROO. BOKUTO.) at 12:07AM_

grumpycatislol: bro jus admit it  
hoot@meme: NO  
grumpycatislol: u jus cnt win  
hoot@meme: DONT SAY IT  
grumpycatislol: agnst iwaizumi @arm wrestlin  
hoot@meme: BRO  
hoot@meme: Y U HAV 2 BREAK MA HEART?  
grumpycatislol: dis y i tel u not 2 mess w iwaizumi  
grumpycatislol: he mad strong bro  
hoot@meme: bro if u jus gav me ur supprt i would tots win  
grumpycatislol: bro i aint takin sides agnst him  
grumpycatislol: he mad scary brah  
hoot@meme: BRUH I KNO BUT LIK  
vcomein✌: stop challenging iwachan to arm wrestling  
vcomein✌: he already has to fight makki all the time  
vcomein✌: let him live in peace  
grumpycatislol: funny dat comin frm u  
hoot@meme: HAHA  
hoot@meme: rate this 10/10 would lol again  
vcomein✌: what do you mean?  
grumpycatislol: srsly?

_Private Chat at 12:11AM_

vcomein✌: yahoo   
vcomein✌:( ・д-☆   
grumpycatislol: oho?  
grumpycatislol: priv chat  
vcomein✌: if you fucking tell the others about what i'm going to tell you i will kill you  
grumpycatislol: bruh u a wimp son  
vcomein✌: i will send kunimi on you  
vcomein✌: and though you've never met him  
vcomein✌: he is scary when he wants to be  
vcomein✌: especially when woken up before his alarm  
vcomein✌: which i will arrange for  
vcomein✌: with you being the culprit behind it  
grumpycatislol: wors than u?  
vcomein✌: i look like mother fucking theresa combined with jesus on the cross  
grumpycatislol: shiiiiiiiiit  
grumpycatislol: u wanna tlk in pers?

_Private Chat at 12:15AM_

grumpycatislol: i tak that as a no  
grumpycatislol: not hurt  
grumpycatislol: nope not hurt at all  
grumpycatislol: AT ALL

_Private Chat at 12:17AM_

grumpycatislol: oikawa u ther?

_Private Chat at 12:23AM_

vcomein✌: look im only coming to you because we have similar backgrounds in this matter ok?  
vcomein✌: i would normally ask mattsun and makki but you seemed like the better option  
vcomein✌: and i vaguely referenced to this topic earlier and both of them spiralled into meme hell and nothing got done  
grumpycatislol: i cnt wait 2 meet them

_Private Chat at 12:27AM_

grumpycatislol: not gettin any youngr hre princess

_grumpycatislol has named this chat JOIN THE CLUB at 12:29AM_

_JOIN THE CLUB at 12:32AM_

vcomein✌: so  
vcomein✌: how did you know with kenma?  
vcomein✌: that you liked him more than just friends?  
vcomein✌: i know you had your whole drunk revelation  
vcomein✌: unfortunately i was there  
vcomein✌: but you must've known somewhat before then cause drunk epiphanies don't just come from nothing  
grumpycatislol: ahhhh ther it is  
grumpycatislol: kne it was comin  
vcomein✌: you know what forget it  
vcomein✌: if you're not going to take this seriously then forget it  
vcomein✌: i'll figure it out myself  
grumpycatislol: woah woah woah  
grumpycatislol: who said anything abt not taking it srsly  
grumpycatislol: i take this sort of thing vv srsly ill have u kno  
vcomein✌: well??  
grumpycatislol: this isnt going to be helpful at all but  
grumpycatislol: i think ive always sort of known...  
grumpycatislol: like the feelings were always there and i just couldnt identify them for what they were  
vcomein✌: so what changed that?  
grumpycatislol: going to college  
grumpycatislol: not seeing each other every day  
grumpycatislol: probably mitty taking kenma with her to buy a present and kenma being so wiling to go  
grumpycatislol: like kenma and chibi chan was one thing  
vcomein✌: kenma and chibichan?  
grumpycatislol: theyre friends  
grumpycatislol: and chibi chan has got such a loud personality that i never felt threatened by their friendship  
grumpycatislol: like i always knew at the end of the day kenma would come back to my side because hed get tired from hanging out with chibiski all day  
grumpycatislol: so there was no chance of that ever happening  
grumpycatislol: plus chibi chan is too fresh to understand feelings in mho  
grumpycatislol: BUT THEN  
grumpycatislol: in came mitty and all of a sudden there was someone who kenma got along with easily that wasnt me and mitty doesnt have a loud personality so all of a sudden it just sort of hit me  
grumpycatislol: that i was feeling jealous of mitty not for being friends with kenma but as a romantic rival of sorts because i didnt know which way kenma swung  
grumpycatislol: in the end though i was worried for nothing apparently  
grumpycatislol: considering the adorable shit thought we were always dating  
grumpycatislol: smh

_JOIN THE CLUB at 12:39AM_

grumpycatislol: yo  
grumpycatislol: oikawa?  
grumpycatislol: did you seriously fall asleep on me?  
grumpycatislol: this is what i get for being nice

_JOIN THE CLUB at 1:01AM_

vcomein✌: weren't you worried about your friendship when you confessed?  
grumpycatislol: ah youre not asleep  
vcomein✌: yeah just thinking  
vcomein✌: sorry for responding so slowly  
grumpycatislol: yeah of course i was when i confessed  
grumpycatislol: hes my oldest/best friend above all else  
grumpycatislol: what if he didnt feel the same way  
grumpycatislol: what if it changed our relationship  
grumpycatislol: what if i lost him as my friend which was and will be more important to me than anything else  
grumpycatislol: if i lost him as a friend i felt like i would lose half my memories with him  
vcomein✌: you're not helping  
vcomein✌: at all you know  
grumpycatislol: (´･ω･`)  
vcomein✌: really?  
vcomein✌: you're doing this right now?  
vcomein✌: really kuroo?  
grumpycatislol: but you know what i realized when i was freaking out oikawa?  
vcomein✌: if you make that fucking cat face kuroo  
grumpycatislol: im not that much of an asshole  
vcomein✌: i beg to differ  
grumpycatislol: you want to know what i realized or not?  
vcomein✌: fine  
vcomein✌: what?  
grumpycatislol: that kenma and i are childhood friends  
vcomein✌: what?  
vcomein✌: are you fucking kidding me mr. obvious?  
grumpycatislol: no oikawa  
grumpycatislol: kenma and i are childhood friends  
grumpycatislol: above all else we have almost two decades of friendship under our belts  
grumpycatislol: and if kenma has stuck with me for that long like iwaizumi has stuck with you  
grumpycatislol: nothing is going to change that at the end of the day  
grumpycatislol: even if a confession were to go wrong  
grumpycatislol: which it wont  
vcomein✌: how can you know that?  
grumpycatislol: trust me  
vcomein✌: ...  
grumpycatislol: look i fuck around with a lot of things but i wouldnt with this oikawa

_JOIN THE CLUB 1:12AM_

vcomein✌: how do you think it would end  
vcomein✌: for me...  
grumpycatislol: honestly?  
grumpycatislol: probably in your favor

_JOIN THE CLUB at 1:48AM_

vcomein✌: thanks kuroo

_JOIN THE CLUB at 8:57AM_

grumpycatislol: no worries oikawa

 **September 25th**  
_BOKUTO PLS STOP HOOTING AT 4AM YOURE NOT AN ACTUAL OWL at 9:10PM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa, Iwaizumi would like you to call him or text him.  
Sawamura_Daichi: In fact, Iwaizumi says it doesn't matter how, just to please contact him.  
hoot@meme: dude iwaizumis worried bout u  
Misshimizu: Oikawa kun  
Misshimizu: Iwaizumi kun really wants you to answer his calls  
Misshimizu: He's really worried  
grumpycatislol: oikawa?

_JOIN THE CLUB at 9:11PM_

grumpycatislol: you want to talk about it?  
vcomein✌: i confessed  
vcomein✌: god i'm so stupid  
vcomein✌: we were just eating at this new restaurant and it sort of just slipped out  
vcomein✌: and then the idiot just gaped at me  
vcomein✌: and kept opening and closing his mouth like a neanderthal   
vcomein✌: so i ran  
vcomein✌: tell him i'm sorry for making him pay  
grumpycatislol: why dont you just tell him?  
vcomein✌: did you not read what i just wrote kuroo?  
vcomein✌: I CAN'T TALK TO HIM EVER AGAIN  
grumpycatislol: why?  
vcomein✌: OMFG KUROO HE DIDN'T RESPOND  
vcomein✌: HE DOESN'T LIKE ME BACK  
vcomein✌: HE JUST STARED AT ME LIKE I WAS SOME SORT OF ALIEN  
vcomein✌: and not the cool kind  
grumpycatislol: given what youve just written  
grumpycatislol: it kind of sounds like you didnt give him the chance to respond  
grumpycatislol: like you sort of just said it and dashed

_JOIN THE CLUB at 9:20PM_

grumpycatislol: oikawa?  
vcomein✌: shut up

_JOIN THE CLUB at 9:30PM_

vcomein✌: what if he rejects me?  
grumpycatislol: as cliche as it sounds youll never know unless you talk to him  
grumpycatislol: but i highly doubt hell reject you

_vcomein✌ has changed BOKUTO PLS STOP HOOTING AT 4AM YOURE NOT AN ACUTAL OWL to IWACHAN SAYS HE LOVES ME TOO at 11:40PM_

hoot@meme: HOOT HOOT  
hoot@meme: CONGRATS DUDE  
Sawamura_Daichi: I assume this means you two are together now?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Congratulations, I hope you two are very happy together.  
Misshimizu: Congrats oikawa kun  
Misshimizu: I'm happy for you  
Misshimizu: 85% because I don't have to listen to you whine about this anymore like a little bitch  
vcomein✌: YOU KNOW WHAT MITTY  
vcomein✌: because i am on cloud nine right now i will let it go this one time  
hoot@meme: so he says  
hoot@meme: but we all know that oikawa cannot win against MY WAIFU  
grumpycatislol: i would lik my ™ on this relatnshp  
grumpycatislol: woulnt hav happnd w o me  
vcomein✌: shut up kuroo  
grumpycatislol: u kno it tru tho  
vcomein✌: ...  
vcomein✌: thanks kuroo  
vcomein✌: don't let it get to your head though  
grumpycatislol: more proof that i was an integral part of them getting 2gthr  
grumpycatislol: >>IwaizumiHajime: Thanks for telling me where Oikawa was tonight  
>>IwaizumiHajime: I appreciate it bro  
Sawamura_Daichi: Love has changed you Kuroo.  
grumpycatislol: oho  
hoot@meme: ohohoho  
grumpycatislol: ohohohohohoho  
hoot@meme: ohohohohohohohohohoho  
Sawamura_Daichi: Nevermind.  
grumpycatislol: cnt blv u just wrot out nvm adorable  
hoot@meme: ADORABLE

_grumpycatislol has changed JOIN THE CLUB to LUCKY IM IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND at 11:49PM_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONUS:  
> hoot@meme: LET US MEET iCENAwutudid AND yesdisdoge  
> vcomein✌: no.  
> vcomein✌: iwachan agrees with me on this  
> vcomein✌: the four of you together would be a nightmare  
> grumpycatislol: (Ｔ▽Ｔ)  
> hoot@meme: (ಥ﹏ಥ)  
> grumpycatislol: ༶ඬ༝ඬ༶  
> hoot@meme: (Θ︹Θ)ს
> 
> [cut for length]
> 
> All hell broke loose in the Aoba Johsai group chat about who gets to live with mom when the threat of divorce loomed close ft. Kyoutani: whos rents r gettin div?? im sorry. thats rough buddy 
> 
> Up next (hopefully): Daisuga


	4. The Dream Team = Regret. So much regret.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meme team meets meme trash and insanity ensues ft ragret and daisuga.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God what is this shit show? I'm sorry. I hope you all like memes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**October 1st**  
_I'M SORRY. BLAME IWACHAN at 9:28PM_

vcomein✌: omg  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oh god.  
Misshimizu: Omg

_Misshimizu has changed I'M SORRY BLAME IWACHAN to WE BLAME YOU OIKAWA at 9:28PM_

vcomein✌: really mitty?  
vcomein✌: i wasn't even the one who brought them over

_Sawamura_Daichi has changed WE BLAME YOU OIKAWA to WE'RE CHANGING THE LOCKS AGAIN at 9:29PM_

Misshimizu: They tagged along with your boyfriend and since you let your boyfriend into the apartment by association it's your fault  
Sawamura_Daichi: How long has it been?  
Misshimizu: Almost two hours  
Sawamura_Daichi: I can believe it of Kuroo and Bokuto but Matsukawa-kun and Hanamaki-kun...  
Sawamura_Daichi: I didn't think they had it in them.  
vcomein✌: clearly you know nothing  
vcomein✌: you know NOTHING jon snow  
Sawamura_Daichi: Who's Jon Snow? Is he someone we know?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Is he that new exchange student in your class Oikawa? The one that you and Bokuto keep trying to get to join your team??  
Misshimizu: Omg  
vcomein✌: omg  
Sawamura_Daichi: What? Am I missing something?  
vcomein✌: just  
vcomein✌: any other day i wouldn't let this slide but nvm  
Sawamura_Daichi: What? Did I do something wrong? What?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Shimizu?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa?  
Misshimizu: I need to take the recorder away from kou kun  
vcomein✌: this might sound unbelievable given what we are witnessing  
vcomein✌: but usually mattsun and makki are half this bad  
vcomein✌: and iwachan can somewhat control them  
Misshimizu: Well this might surprise you oikawa kun but when you double one half of the equation you need to double the other half too to balance it out  
vcomein✌: mitty i don't need this from you right now  
vcomein✌: i have apologized  
vcomein✌: repeatedly  
vcomein✌: and so has iwachan but NO ONE SEEMS TO BE ANGRY WITH HIM  
vcomein✌: THE INJUSTICE  
Sawamura_Daichi: I don't understand how they haven't realized how annoying they're being when we all went and locked ourselves in our respective rooms.  
Misshimizu: No they know  
Misshimizu: They just don't care  
Misshimizu: At least I know that testu kun knows  
Misshimizu: I saw him smirk  
vcomein✌: do you think we should contact kenma?  
Misshimizu: I already did  
>>applepi: yea he txted me that it was the greatest night of his life  
>>applepi: -_-  
>>Misshimizu: Please help?  
>>Misshimizu: Or tell me what I should do  
>>applepi: im so srry shimizu-san  
>>applepi: but at this pt if u couldnt stop him  
>>applepi: ull just have to wait it out  
>>applepi: srry  
>>applepi: ill keep txting him tho  
>>Misshimizu: Thanks  
>>applepi: gd luck  
vcomein✌: omg  
vcomein✌: kuroo's own boyfriend doesn't even want to deal with him  
Misshimizu: Iwaizumi kun probably undertsands the feeling  
vcomein✌: should we contact akaashikun?  
vcomein✌: wait WHAT?  
vcomein✌: MITTY NOT TODAY  
vcomein✌: WE NEED TO JOIN FORCES TO DEAL WITH THIS  
Misshimizu: It was reflex  
Misshimizu: Muscle-memory  
Sawamura_Daichi: What are they singing?  
vcomein✌: a thousand miles  
vcomein✌: he's seriously not giving up on trying to do a recorder cover of that piano intro is he?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Would it be rude if I just left the apartment?  
vcomein✌: they'll still be at it by the time you come back  
vcomein✌: you have no idea how seriously makki and mattsun take memes  
Sawamura_Daichi: They did not seem like they would be like this.  
vcomein✌: yeah  
vcomein✌: IT'S A TRAP!  
Sawamura_Daichi: Are you watching Star Wars right now?   
vcomein✌: well what else am i supposed to do?  
vcomein✌: iwachan is still out there trying to get control of the situation  
Sawamura_Daichi: Shouldn't you be helping him? They're your friends too.  
vcomein✌: unlike iwachan  
vcomein✌: i know a lost cause when i see one  
Misshimizu: I'm pretty sure iwaizumi kun knows a lost cause when he sees one he just can't give up because he's a nice person  
vcomein✌: EXCUSE ME  
Misshimizu: Akaashi kun said we should leave the apartment  
Misshimizu: >>Shaknnotstirrd: Ah  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: Has he brought out the recorder?  
>>Misshimizu: Yes  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: Ah  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: You'll just have to wait it out  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: I'm sorry  
>>Misshimizu: There might be a mysterioius death later  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: I wouln't hold it against you  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: I've plotted many during my first two years in high school  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: I can help you bury the body as I've scouted out a few good spots through the years  
>>Misshimizu: Who got him the recorder?  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: Kuroo-san  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: Have you contacted Kenma?  
>>Misshimizu: He said we were on our own  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: I'd just leave the apartment if I were you  
Sawamura_Daichi: What does Akaashi-kun's username mean? Shaken not stirred? What's shaken and not stirred?  
Misshimizu: Bond. James Bond.  
hoot@meme: OHOHOHO  
hoot@meme: DO ANY OF U OWN ANY OF DA FOLLOWING:  
hoot@meme: DUCK  
grumpycatislol: FLUTE  
hoot@meme: FRENCH HORN  
grumpycatislol: BAGPIPES  
hoot@meme: ?????????  
Sawamura_Daichi: Um...no.  
hoot@meme: CUZ WE ALRDY HAV THE RECORDER AS IM SUR UVE HRD  
grumpycatislol: ^^TOP QLTY RECORDER PLYR RIGHT HERE  
hoot@meme: BRO  
Sawamura_Daichi: Do I even want to know why?  
vcomein✌: OMG SAWAMURA NO  
Misshimizu: DAICHI KUN NO  
vcomein✌: TAKE IT BACK QUICKLY  
grumpycatislol: sawamura bro  
Misshimizu: Oh god  
grumpycatislol: I M SO GLAD U ASKD  
grumpycatislol: our new bbfls showd us the greatest vid dat we need 2 mak a recorder covr of  
Sawamura_Daichi: What's a BBFL?  
vcomein✌: omfg sawamura are you doing this on purpose?  
hoot@meme: BEST BROS 4 LIF  
hoot@meme: WHICH THEY R  
hoot@meme: STARTIN 2NITE  
hoot@meme: 4EVR MORE  
grumpycatislol: its the new bffl

_grumpycatislol has changed WE'RE CHANGING THE LOCKS AGAIN to FORMATION OF THE NEW DREAM TEAM at 10:08PM_

_vcomein✌ has changed FORMATION OF THE NEW DREAM TEAM to GO FUCK YOURSELVES (MATTSUN AND MAKKI TOO) at 10:09PM_

_hoot@meme has changed GO FUCK YOURSELVES (MATTSUN AND MAKKI TOO) to O SHIT IWAIZUMI IS DA PO PO at 10:09PM_

grumpycatislol: O SHIT  
grumpycatislol: RUN  
hoot@meme: WEOO WEOO  
grumpycatislol: WEooOOwEOodfeO wwwEdeOyOos eeeEttrOaOl

_O SHIT IWAIZUMI IS DA PO PO at 10:19PM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Is it over?  
Sawamura_Daichi: I heard doors slam.  
grumpycatislol: bro u aliv?  
vcomein✌: unfortunately sawamura  
vcomein✌: once makki and mattsun get going  
grumpycatislol: oikawa did ur bf train w the hulk n the flash?  
grumpycatislol: WTF MAN  
vcomein✌: they'll keep going until they've caught up to present day memes  
grumpycatislol: bro where u @?  
vcomein✌: and then for the night to be considered truly successful they need to come up with at least a dozen of their own memes  
hoot@meme: sittin on the fir esap w matsukawa  
hoot@meme: its beaut out hre  
vcomein✌: so that they can contribute to the meme economy  
vcomein✌: help the world out of meme recession  
vcomein✌: and one day see their memes bartered and traded on the floor of the meme stock exchange  
vcomein✌:＼| ￣ヘ￣|／  
vcomein✌: not my words btw  
Misshimizu: Oikawa kun are you still watching star wars?  
vcomein✌: yeah  
Misshimizu: Can I join you?  
vcomein✌: why not  
vcomein✌: iwachan is still on the hunt for meme trash  
vcomein✌: even though i told him to leave it and just come to bed  
vcomein✌: but no  
vcomein✌: （；￣д￣）  
vcomein✌: be careful crossing through the living room  
Misshimizu: Be there soon  
hoot@meme: SHIT HOW HE FIND US?  
grumpycatislol: bro dis group chat  
hoot@meme: OIKAWA U TRAITOR  
hoot@meme: I TRUSTD U  
grumpycatislol: ABORT MISSION  
hoot@meme: ABORT MISSION  
grumpycatislol: ill see u in prv chat my 2nd-in-commd

 **October 2nd  
** O SHIT IWAIZUMI IS DA PO PO at 12:55AM

_grumpycatislol has changed O SHIT IWAIZUMI IS DA PO PO to I VOTE FOR THEM TO MOVE IN at 12:55AM_

hoot@meme: SECOND  
hoot@meme: BRO THEY SAID SOM1 NAMD KUNIMI HAZ BAGPIPES WE CAN BORROW  
vcomein✌: omg kunimi no

  
_Misshimizu has changed I VOTE FOR THEM TO MOVE IN to GET YOUR BAIL READY at 6:02AM_

vcomein✌: Iwaizumi here  
vcomein✌: I am so incredibly sorry  
vcomein✌: Oikawa told them we were having a nice dinner and they love free food so they insisted on coming along  
vcomein✌: They kept using those cheesy phrases about team work and how it will help us bond etc...  
vcomein✌: Fucking dammit shittykawa  
vcomein✌: We don't even play together anymore and could we be any closer than we already are?  
vcomein✌: But this dumbass fell for it and said they could tag along  
Sawamura_Daichi: I don't blame you.  
Misshimizu: I blame oikawa kun  
vcomein✌: Yekfjad  
vcomein✌: IEJO":MKDL✌jfkl;daj;a'ie'w  
vcomein✌: OMG IWACHAN SERIOUSLY?  
Misshimizu: OMG OIKAWA KUN SERIOUSLY?  
vcomein✌: MITTY WHAT?  
vcomein✌: WHAT IS IT?  
Misshimizu: You fell for their whole bonding thing? Come on   
vcomein✌: WHAT IS WRONG WITH BONDING?  
vcomein✌: i'm sorry not all of us have cold hearts of steel  
Misshimizu: They are literally your best friends  
Misshimizu: How much more bonding do you need?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa. What does this mean?  
>>yesdisdoge: thx for havin us  
>>yesdisdoge: we hd a grt tim  
>>yesdisdoge: sry we wernt abl 2 meet ur bf tho  
>>yesdisdoge: exams suc ass  
>>yesdisdoge: oikawa says hes prtty n nice  
>>yesdisdoge: nxt tim intro us  
>>yesdisdoge: thx agn  
vcomein✌: he said  
vcomein✌: thanks for having us  
vcomein✌: we had a great time  
Sawamura_Daichi: No. I know what it says. I live with Kuroo and Bokuto too. I meant this:  
Sawamura_Daichi: >>yesdisdoge: srry we werent abl 2 meet ur bf tho  
>>yesdisdoge: exams sux ass  
>>yesdisdoge: oikawa says hes prtty n nice  
>>yesdisdoge: nxt tim intro us  
Sawamura_Daichi: What boyfriend? What is he talking about?  
vcomein✌: uh well sawamura this might surprise you  
vcomein✌: but considering that he drank for almost 7 hrs  
vcomein✌: makki is drunk  
Sawamura_Daichi: He sounds pretty in control of his facilities here:  
Sawamura_Daichi: >>yesdisdoge: srry we werent abl 2 meet ur bf tho  
vcomein✌: i think he meant your friend who is a boy  
Sawamura_Daichi: Why wouldn't he say friend then? Also exams? I mean Suga was supposed to come over tonight but couldn't because of exams...  
Sawamura_Daichi: Does he think Suga and I are dating?  
vcomein✌: ...  
Sawamura_Daichi: What did you tell them?!  
vcomein✌: i just talked to makki and he said he meant your friend  
vcomein✌: as in sugakun  
vcomein✌: that's what makki said  
Sawamura_Daichi: Prove it.  
vcomein✌: iwachan is sleepy  
vcomein✌: he is giving me grumpy sleepy face  
vcomein✌: which is surprisingly vastly different from his usual face  
vcomein✌: ttyl  
vcomein✌: good night  
grumpycatislol: ayy lmao  
hoot@meme: ayy lmao  
Sawamura_Daichi: Kuroo, Bokuto do you know what Hanamaki-kun is talking about?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Kuroo?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Bokuto?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Hello?  
Sawamura_Daichi: I can hear you both watching something in your room, Bokuto!  
Sawamura_Daichi: Our rooms are next to each other.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Shouting at me that you are asleep means that you are not asleep!  
Sawamura_Daichi: BOKUTO!  
Sawamura_Daichi: KUROO!  
grumpycatislol: Messrs Bokuto and Kuroo would like to let Mr. Sawamura know that it has been a long night so please go the fuck to sleep.  
grumpycatislol: Messrs Bokuto and Kuroo would like to let Mr. Sawamura know that he is not being a good dad right now by keeping his precious young children awake at this ungodly hour.  
grumpycatislol: Messrs Bokuto and Kuroo would like to let Mr. Sawamura know to think of the children with the unseemly words coming out of your mouth.  
hoot@meme: THE CHILDREN!  
Misshimizu: I don't think you're going to get an answer out of any of them daichi kun  
Misshimizu: You should go to bed and try again tomorrow  
hoot@meme: Messrs Bokuto n Kuroo would lik 2 let Miss Mitty kno that shes amazing n beautiful n would she lik 2 mrry Mr. Bokuto?  
Misshimizu: Go to bed kou kun  
hoot@meme: ill hav my lawyers send ovr the marriage docs tmrrw  
>>yesdisdoge: The Office of Hanamaki & Matsukawa, LLC is closed for the evening  
>>iCENAwutudid: But we will be happy to draw up the documents when we return to our office in the morning at 4:00PM  
>>yesdisdoge: The Office of Hanamaki & Matsukawa, LLC would like to formally congratulate you on your upcoming nuptials  
hoot@meme: HOOT HOOT

_hoot@meme has changed GET YOUR BAIL READY to MITTY ALL U HAV 2 DO IS SIGN THE DOCS at 6:59AM_

Misshimizu: Please go to bed kou kun  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oh my god.  
Sawamura_Daichi: The sun is coming up.

Sawamura_Daichi sent an image at 7:03AM

_vcomein✌ has changed MITTY ALL U HAV 2 DO IS SIGN THE DOCS to DON'T PULL THAT KIND OF SHIT AGAIN KUROO. BOKUTO. at 3:52PM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Oh, Oikawa you're awake. Tell me what Hanamaki-kun meant yesterday.  
Sawamura_Daichi: I can hear you squawking in your bedroom and Iwaizumi telling you to shut up.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Saying that you are having mind blowing sex at the moment and to come back later clearly shows that you are not having mind blowing sex.  
Misshimizu: I didn't know you had it in you  
Sawamura_Daichi: Had what in me?  
Misshimizu: To deliver a burn  
Sawamura_Daichi: I didn't burn anyone...?  
vcomein✌: omg  
vcomein✌: OMFG

_vcomein✌ has changed DON'T PULL THAT KIND OF SHIT AGAIN KUROO. BOKUTO. to SAWAMURA IS AS DENSE AS HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED at 3:54PM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Who is he-who-must-not-be-named?  
vcomein✌: the dark lord  
Sawamura_Daichi: Who?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Shimizu?  
Misshimizu: As in you don't know who the dark lord is or who he is using it to reference to?  
Sawamura_Daichi: The latter.  
Misshimizu: I'm not sure  
Sawamura_Daichi: According to Iwaizumi, it's Ushiwaka.  
vcomein✌: DON'T SAY THE NAME IN HERE SAWAMURA  
vcomein✌: OMG  
vcomein✌: NOW HE COULD APPEAR ANY MINUTE  
vcomein✌: DON'T YOU KNOW THE NAME IS CURSED?????  
vcomein✌: PROTEGO  
vcomein✌: SHIT  
vcomein✌: SHIT  
vcomein✌: SHIT  
vcomein✌: REPUGNO  
vcomein✌: EVERYONE THROW SALT OVER YOUR SHOULDER  
vcomein✌: GET OUT THE CROSSES  
vcomein✌: WEAR GARLIC WREATHS  
vcomein✌: WE NEED TO BURN SOME SAGE STAT  
grumpycatislol: lolz  
grumpycatislol: gd morn  
grumpycatislol: how does iwaizumi put up w u?  
grumpycatislol: hes goin thru dem pearly gates in the aftr lif  
grumpycatislol: HA  
grumpycatislol: did oikawa srsly jus compare ushiwaka 2 voldemort?  
grumpycatislol: (´･ω･`)  
vcomein✌: KUROO OMG  
vcomein✌: STOP SAYING THE NAME IN HERE  
vcomein✌: I AM TELLING YOU  
vcomein✌: HE WILL SHOW UP  
hoot@meme: wat a nit  
hoot@meme: wat a nit  
hoot@meme: GOIN DOWN IN DA BOOKZ  
hoot@meme: SO GLAD WE MET HANAMAKI N MATSUKAWA  
hoot@meme: I FEEL COMPLETE NOW  
hoot@meme: whos ushiwaka?  
vcomein✌: BOKUTO WHAT DID I JUST SAY?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Ushijima Wakatoshi.  
Sawamura_Daichi: He used to play for Shiratorizawa. You must've run into him at nationals.

_vcomein✌ has left SAWAMURA IS AS DENSE AS HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED at 4:00PM_

grumpycatislol: omg sawamura  
grumpycatislol: oikawa is rite abt u  
Sawamura_Daichi: What?  
hoot@meme: ushijima  
hoot@meme: ooOOOO yea  
hoot@meme: the lefty rite?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Yeah. Did you ever play him?  
hoot@meme: yea wen i was in 2nd yr  
hoot@meme: dat serv was a BITCH 2 RECEIVE  
hoot@meme: lemme tell u  
Sawamura_Daichi: No need.  
hoot@meme: O YEA U PLAYD HIM 2 RITE?  
hoot@meme: evn konoha n komiyan had troubs receivin dem @1st  
Sawamura_Daichi: Komiyan?  
hoot@meme: komi haruki  
hoot@meme: formr FUKURODANI LIBERO  
hoot@meme: IN MY TOP 10 BROS  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oh right.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Talking about nationals brings back memories.  
grumpycatislol: bro its only been not evn a yr  
grumpycatislol: calm down  
Sawamura_Daichi: We made some memories huh?  
grumpycatislol: no need to get nostal 1st thng in the morn bro  
hoot@meme: LETS GO SUPPORT OUR TEAMS THIS YR  
grumpycatislol: HELL YEA  
Sawamura_Daichi: Sounds good!

_Misshimizu has added vcomein✌ to SAWAMURA IS AS DENSE AS HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED at 4:07PM_

vcomein✌: really 7 minutes later and you add me back?  
vcomein✌: don't get full of yourself sawamura  
vcomein✌: aoba johsai will make a comeback  
vcomein✌: i have total and complete faith in my kouhai  
Sawamura_Daichi: Bring it on, Oikawa. Karasuno can take them.  
vcomein✌: according to yahaba kyoukenchan is at the top of his game so chibichan and tobiochan better fucking beware  
vcomein✌: let tobiochan that little shit know  
vcomein✌: my kouhai are coming for him  
Sawamura_Daichi: Technically, he's your kouhai too...  
vcomein✌: SHUT UP SAWAMURA  
vcomein✌: NO ONE ASKED YOU  
vcomein✌: text this message to tobiochan: fucking beware  
Sawamura_Daichi: Don't you have Kageyama's number?  
vcomein✌: no.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Doesn't Iwaizumi have it though?  
vcomein✌: YES AND HE WON'T TELL ME WHAT IT IS  
vcomein✌: sawamura give me tobiochan's number  
Sawamura_Daichi: Um...  
Sawamura_Daichi: Well, then how about a trade?  
vcomein✌: a trade?  
Sawamura_Daichi: I'll give you Kageyama's number if you tell me what Hanamaki-kun meant.  
vcomein✌: you've changed sawamura  
vcomein✌: you've changed  
Sawamura_Daichi: It's probably from living with you and Kuroo.  
Sawamura_Daichi: So what say you?  
vcomein✌: about?  
Sawamura_Daichi: What did Hanamaki-kun mean?  
vcomein✌: mean about what?  
Sawamura_Daichi: You really don't remember?  
vcomein✌: makki says a lot of things  
vcomein✌: i tune many of his words out  
hoot@meme: OMG DOES HE KNO DAT?  
hoot@meme: DAT IS SO RUDE  
hoot@meme: HANAMAKI IS A BLESSIN 2 DIS WORLD  
Sawamura_Daichi: What I asked you last night about the whole boyfriend thing.  
vcomein✌: what bf thing?  
vcomein✌: honestly sawamura  
vcomein✌: it was six in the morning  
vcomein✌: we just experienced almost 12 hrs of meme hell  
vcomein✌: and awful recorder playing  
hoot@meme: EXCUSE ME  
grumpycatislol: MY BRO BOKUTO SOUNDED AMAZEBALLS  
hoot@meme: THX BRO  
hoot@meme: U ALWYS HAV MY BACK BB  
grumpycatislol: dont u kno it sweethrt  
Sawamura_Daichi: >>yesdisdoge: srry we werent abl 2 meet ur bf tho  
>>yesdisdoge: exams sux ass  
>>yesdisdoge: oikawa says hes prtty n nice  
>>yesdisdoge: nxt tim intro us  
vcomein✌: i already told you what this means sawamura  
Sawamura_Daichi: And I asked you to prove it  
vcomein✌: OMG FINE  
vcomein✌: hold on  
vcomein✌: >>yesdisdoge: yea sugawara kun  
vcomein✌: see?  
Sawamura_Daichi: How does this prove anything, Oikawa?  
vcomein✌: ask iwachan  
vcomein✌: you guys are friends  
Sawamura_Daichi: I did.  
>>IwaizumiHajime: Sorry  
>>IwaizumiHajime: I really have no idea what he's talking about  
>>IwaizumiHajime: In case you couldn't figure it out yesterday  
>>IwaizumiHajime: Hanamaki and Matsukawa say really stupid shit  
>>IwaizumiHajime: 99% of the things they say are dumb  
>>IwaizumiHajime: Oikawa would probably know better than I would if Hanamaki was talking about something not stupid though  
>>IwaizumiHajime: They gossip like a bunch of housewives when they're together  
vcomein✌: >>IwaizumiHajime: They gossip like a bunch of housewives when they're together  
vcomein✌: seriously iwachan?  
Sawamura_Daichi: So?  
vcomein✌: so what?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Tell me.  
vcomein✌: can't  
vcomein✌: meeting makki and mattsun for food right now  
vcomein✌: sorry  
vcomein✌: ttyl  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa!

_SAWAMURA IS AS DENSE AS HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED at 6:12PM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Do Hanamaki-kun and Matsukawa-kun really think that Suga and I are dating?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Anyone?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Kuroo?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Fell back asleep.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Bokuto?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Also fell back asleep.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Shimizu?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Isn't home....? Shimizu?  
Misshimizu: Have an end of term portfolio due  
Misshimizu: Sorry daichi kun  
Misshimizu: Can't talk much  
Misshimizu: I'll probably be home late too  
Misshimizu: So eat dinner without me  
Misshimizu: I won't be in the apartment much this week as well  
Misshimizu: Can you please water my lavender plant daichi kun?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Sure.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Good luck on your final project!  
Misshimizu: Thanks!

 **October 11th**  
_GOOD LUCK MITTY. LOVE YOUR HUSBANDO at 9:47AM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa, you have seriously been avoiding me all week.  
vcomein✌: you have no proof  
Sawamura_Daichi: I do.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Iwaizumi says that you have been bothering him more than usual and that you've been trying to get him to come to lecture with you in case I jump out from a bush, which is absurd because we go to different schools.  
vcomein✌: rude iwachan rude  
vcomein✌: that is not proof  
vcomein✌: and no i haven't  
vcomein✌: we just have different schedules  
Sawamura_Daichi: You literally walked into the apartment yesterday, saw that I was the only person home, made some weird bird noise, and then promptly turned around and ran away.  
vcomein✌: FIRST OF ALL  
vcomein✌: i did not make a bird noise  
vcomein✌: SECOND OF ALL  
vcomein✌: i did not run away i just remembered i had to do something because  
vcomein✌: THIRD OF ALL  
vcomein✌: i'll have you know SAWAMURA  
vcomein✌: i am a very busy man  
vcomein✌: i have had many MEETINGS this week  
Sawamura_Daichi: With whom?  
vcomein✌: VERY VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE  
vcomein✌: i am a man in high demand  
hoot@meme: HA  
grumpycatislol: HAHAH  
hoot@meme: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  
grumpycatislol: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA  
hoot@meme: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA  
Sawamura_Daichi: Guys, I'm trying to have a conversation with Oikawa.  
grumpycatislol: idk if u understnd groupchat sawamura  
grumpycatislol: but its a chat 4 a group of ppl  
grumpycatislol: we can JUMP in whenevs  
Sawamura_Daichi: I tried discussing this through a private chat, but Oikawa wouldn't respond.  
hoot@meme: U HAV A PRIV CHAT W OIKAWA?  
hoot@meme: IM SO HURT R N  
hoot@meme: SO HURT  
hoot@meme: IS DIS HOW WE RANK IN UR HEART SAWAMURA?  
grumpycatislol: YEA DAD  
grumpycatislol: U R NOT SUPPOSD TO HAV FAVS W UR CHILDRN  
Sawamura_Daichi: You are not my children.  
grumpycatislol: also bro u hav a priv chat w oikawa 2  
hoot@meme: TOTALLY DIFFERENT  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa. Answer me.  
vcomein✌: wwweeeee muuuuuust haaavveee a baaadd connneccctttioonnnn  
vcomein✌: gggoootttoooOoo gooo  
Sawamura_Daichi: Really? You're pulling a Shimizu? After you have her such grief about it?  
vcomein✌: ccccaaaaaan't taaaaaalk  
vcomein✌: bye  
Sawamura_Daichi: Mature, Oikawa. Really mature.  
grumpycatislol: is dis abt u n suga kun?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Yes. Do you know something?  
grumpycatislol: y don u jus ask hanamaki?  
Sawamura_Daichi: I tried, but he said he didn't remember. And I don't have Matsukawa-kun's number.  
grumpycatislol: oho?  
grumpycatislol: hold on  
Sawamura_Daichi: I appreciate the sentiment Kuroo, but I can't just text Matsukawa-kun out of the blue and ask him what he thinks my relationship with Suga is. That would be creepy and weird.  
grumpycatislol: JUST DO IT.  
hoot@meme: JUST DO IT.  
grumpycatislol: >>yesdisdoge: JUST DO IT.  
>>iCENAwutudid: JUST DO IT.  
hoot@meme: >>iCENAwutudid: oh shit  
>>iCENAwutudid: i just told him 2 txt me didnt i?  
>>yesdisdoge: MMMMmmm wattcha say  
>>iCENAwutudid: gt caught up in the memement  
>>grumpycatislol: <http://imgur.com/a/fomg7>  
>>iCENAwutudid: <http://imgur.com/gallery/Kzv6did>  
vcomein✌: do you all even understand what you talk about in your chat kuroo? bokuto?  
grumpycatislol: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
vcomein✌: they are not a good influence on you  
hoot@meme: <http://i.imgur.com/AnrWkRH.gif>  
vcomein✌: so much regret  
grumpycatislol: LIKE A BOSS  
hoot@meme: LIKE A SIR  
vcomein✌: goodbye  
grumpycatislol: LIKE A BOSS  
hoot@meme: LIKE A SIR  
vcomein✌: THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE  
grumpycatislol: LIKE A BOSS  
hoot@meme: LIKE A SIR

[cut for length]

_Baddest Bitche$$ at 3:30PM_

YachipersonB: congrats kiyoko-senpai!  
YachipersonB: i hope your portfolio turned out ok  
YachipersonB: actually no wait im sure it did!!!  
YachipersonB: (*＾▽＾)b  
YachipersonB: text me when you get this

_Baddest Bitche$$ at 10:09PM_

Misshimizu: I'm so sorry hitoka chan  
Misshimizu: After turning my final project in  
Missihimizu: I went home and fell asleep  
Misshimizu: How was practice?  
YachipersonB: KIYOKO-SENPAI  
YachipersonB: YOURE ALIVE  
YachipersonB: THANK GOD  
YachipersonB: practice was good  
YachipersonB: how was your final project?  
YachipersonB: did you get all the portraits done in time?  
Misshimizu: I finished touching up kou kun's this morning  
Misshimizu: It was so hard to get him to sit for it at the beginning but I think it turned out ok  
YachipersonB: IM SURE IT TURNED OUT GREAT SENPAI  
Misshimizu: Thanks hitoka chan  
Misshimizu: Fingers crossed  
YachipersonB:╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ ˂ᵒ͜͡ᵏᵎ⁾✩  
YachipersonB: btw azumane-san stopped by today and he scared some of the first years  
Misshimizu: Typical  
Misshimizu: Did he apologize profusely or try to hide in a corner?  
YachipersonB: both  
YachipersonB: (⌒.−)＝★  
YachipersonB: azumane-san gave us coupons to come eat at the family restaurant he works at now  
YachipersonB: we were thinking of going there for a team dinner this weekend  
YachipersonB: hinata kageyama kun tsukishima kun yamaguchi kun and i were thinking of going next weekend too  
YachipersonB: we should go together too senpai when you come home during vacation  
Misshimizu: (*＾▽＾)b  
YachipersonB: also we're playing seijoh in a practice match tomorrow  
YachipersonB: (＠O＠;)  
Misshimizu: There's no need to be worried hitoka chan  
Misshimizu: They're just boys  
YachipersonB: but theyre SO TALL  
YachipersonB: and theres that 3rd year who looks like a feral dog  
Misshimizu: Kyoutani kun or mad dog chan as oikawa kun refers to him?  
Misshimizu: Iwaizumi kun said that he's actually pretty nice once you get to know him  
YachipersonB: and what about their setter-captain?  
YachipersonB: he looks like hes planning to kill someone slowly  
Misshimizu: Just stay near tanaka and nishinoya  
Misshimizu: They'll protect you  
YachipersonB: i wish you were here too senpai  
Misshimizu: You'll do great  
YachipersonB: on the other hand  
YachipersonB: kageyama-kun doesnt seem worried  
Misshimizu: It's probably because oikawa kun doesn't go there any more  
YachipersonB: ACK WAIT  
YachipersonB: PLEASE dont tell the grand king that were playing tomorrow!  
YachipersonB: what if he shows up?!  
YachipersonB: and hes the scariest of them all  
Misshimizu: Hitoka chan you've met him when you came to visit...  
YachipersonB: he doesnt get any less scarier  
YachipersonB: ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ)ﾟ｡  
Misshimizu: He already knows that you all have the practice match tomorrow  
Misshimizu: And he wanted to come so he could  
Misshimizu: And I quote  
Misshimizu: Watch his children whom he's raised with love and care (seijoh) crush his precious kouhai (kageyama kun)  
YachipersonB: …(ﾟⅩﾟ)…。  
Misshimizu: But don't worry hitoka chan  
Misshimizu: He has an exam so he won't have time to make it up there  
YachipersonB: THANK GOD  
YachipersonB: (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑  
Misshimizu: Lol  
Misshimizu: He's not that bad once you've got him under control  
YachipersonB: only you can say that senpai  
YachipersonB: is oikawa-san still avoiding daichi-san?  
Misshimizu: Yes  
Misshimizu: He's been surprisingly successful  
Misshimizu: Most likely because he really does have an exam and has been holing himself up in his school's library to study  
Misshimizu: And though he claims otherwise  
Misshimizu: I think he's been spending a lot of nights 'studying ' with iwaizumi kun just to avoid daichi kun  
YachipersonB: HA  
YachipersonB: why doesnt he just move in with iwaizumi-san?  
Misshimizu: Apparently iwaizumi kun doesn't want to have any distractions  
Misshimizu: And given how much tetsu kun studies when he's not being an idiot  
Misshimizu: Living with oikawa kun would probably cause iwaizumi kun's grades to suffer  
YachipersonB: i thought kuroo-san was in the same program as oikawa-san?  
Misshimizu: Tetsu kun and iwaizumi kun are in the same medical program and oikawa kun is in a different one  
YachipersonB: ohhhhh  
YachipersonB: well at least this time you didnt have to do anything re the fiasco that is daichi-san's relationship with suga-san  
Misshimizu: You say that but he still doesn't understand  
YachipersonB: but didnt you say hanamaki-san basically called suga-san daichi-san's boyfriend?  
Misshimizu: Yes  
Misshimizu: And the idiot doesn't understand why  
YachipersonB: maybe you could gently push him in the right direction?  
YachipersonB: and not kill him  
Misshimizu: It'll be hard  
Misshimizu: I've been watching him for 3 years now  
Misshimizu: Bothering suga kun would be easier  
Misshimizu: I kept telling him to confess all through third year but suga kun kept saying that he deserves a confession  
Misshimizu: What is he? A shojo manga heroine?  
Misshimizu: Does he want it to take place at a ball?  
Misshimizu: With some la valse pour orchestre playing in the background?  
Misshimizu: Have fireworks go off when the clock strikes midnight which is the exact moment daichi kun confesses?  
Misshimizu: Kiss kiss fall in love  
YachipersonB: kiyoko-senpai are you watching that anime again?  
Misshimizu: It's stress relief  
Misshimizu: And when oikawa kun caught me rewatching my favorite episode he became surprisingly invested so now we've been watching it together  
YachipersonB: (๑ʘ∆ʘ๑)  
Misshimizu: I give you permission to shoot me if I ever start winking and doing peace signs and referring to myself in the third person  
YachipersonB: i could never shoot you senpai  
YachipersonB: who else would calm all my nerves?  
YachipersonB: and youve been stressed  
YachipersonB: so i understand  
YachipersonB: azumane-san said that he would bring suga-san to practice next week so i could maybe perhaps idk try to convince suga-san to go visit you all sooner rather than later  
YachipersonB: and maybe by then youll have a plan?  
YachipersonB: I MEAN IF YOUD LIKE MY HELP that is  
YachipersonB: I DONT MEAN TO INTRUDE  
YachipersonB: AHHHH SORRY  
YachipersonB: I SHOULDNT HAVE SAID ANYTHING  
Misshimizu: NO WAIT HITOKA CHAN  
Misshimizu: If you could convince suga kun to visit that would be really helpful actually  
Misshimizu: But there's no pressure  
YachipersonB: I WOULD BE SO HAPPY TO HELP YOU SENPAI  
YachipersonB: idk if itll actually work  
YachipersonB: i mean of course ill try  
YachipersonB: but i cant garuntee anything  
Misshimizu: Of course  
Misshimizu: Just see what you can do and there is no pressure  
Misshimizu: He'll visit eventually I'm sure  
Misshimizu: And our vacation is in a month and a half so things will work out  
Misshimizu: I guess  
Misshimizu: They could dance and then hug it out after a whole season of pining  
YachipersonB: kiyoko-senpai you know that suga-san and daichi-san aren't the hero/heroine of your shojo anime right?  
YachipersonB: ill see what i can do  
YachipersonB: i would rather have a sane senpai above all else  
Misshimizu: Thanks hitoka chan  
Misshimizu: I need to go back to bed and you should go to bed too  
Misshimizu: It's a school night after all  
YachipersonB: says the person whos been pulling all nighters for the last seven days  
YachipersonB: but yes PLEASE GET SOME SLEEP SENPAI  
YachipersonB: ttyl  
YachipersonB: ill let you know how our practice match goes!  
YachipersonB: (♡´౪`♡)  
YachipersonB: good night!  
Misshimizu: Good night

 **October 16th**  
_TODAY IS THE BEST HOLIDAY at 12:00AM_

grumpycatislol: I WILL NOW BE TAKING ALL CONGRATULATORY REMARKS TO PASS ONTO MY BEAUTIFUL BELOVED  
grumpycatislol: howev any remarks that r 2 good i wil claim as my own  
hoot@meme: TELL KENMA I SAY HAPPY DAY OF BIRTH U BEAUT CAT U  
hoot@meme: TELL HIM DAT I HOPE HE SPENDS ALL 9 OF HIS LIVS W U BRO  
grumpycatislol: don  
grumpycatislol: n don  
grumpycatislol: >>applepi: bokuto-san knows im not actually a cat right?  
>>applepi: tell him thx  
hoot@meme: BEG TO DIFFR  
hoot@meme: TELL KENMA HE BE MEOWNIFICENT  
hoot@meme: DAT HE BE PAWSITIVELY CLAWSOME  
grumpycatislol: >>applepi: u kno that u can pick and choose what u send me right?  
>>applepi: like i don't need to kno each and every one of them  
>>applepi: tell bokuto-san he's purr-ty cool himself  
hoot@meme: AWWWWWW SHUX KENMA  
Sawamura_Daichi: Is that why today is the best holiday, Kuroo?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Because it's Kenma's birthday?  
grumpycatislol: if it wer up 2 me  
grumpycatislol: 2day would be a nat holiday  
hoot@meme: bro dat mad gay  
grumpycatislol: ur pt bro?  
hoot@meme: jus puttin it out ther  
Sawamura_Daichi: Tell Kenma I also wish him a happy birthday filled with lots of wonderful moments.  
vcomein✌: much dad such NOT IMPRESSED  
Misshimizu: That's not how that meme works oikawa kun  
grumpycatislol: >>applepi: tell the former karasuno captain thx  
vcomein✌: happy birthday kenma. if you kill kuroo no one will blame you as it's your birthday  
Sawamura_Daichi: Why did he call me the former Karasuno captain? Does he not know my name?  
vcomein✌: kuroo i hope you got him a good present  
vcomein✌: like i don't want to pressure on  
hoot@meme: bc u r da formr crow cap??  
vcomein✌: but it's your first birthday as a couple  
vcomein✌: so don't mess it up  
grumpycatislol: >>applepi: tell oikawa-san thx and i'll try not to  
>>grumpycatislol: i m hurt kenma  
>>grumpycatislol: u kno how much i LOOOOOVVV UUUUU  
>>applepi: yea ok  
>>grumpycatislol: KENNNNNMAAAA  
>>applepi: its my bday dont be annoying  
vcomein✌: NO PRESSURE KUROO  
vcomein✌: I HOPE YOU GOT HIM THE PRESENT TO KNOCK ALL YOUR FORMER PRESENTS OUT OF THE PARK  
Misshimizu: >>applepi: thanks shimizu-san! <3  
>>Misshimizu: You're meeting tetsu kun later today right?  
>>applepi: yea he insisted  
>>applepi: -_-  
>>Misshimizu: I'm sending something over with him so let me know that you get it and he doesn't try to claim it as his gift  
>>applepi: u didnt have to shimizu-san  
>>applepi: but thank u  
grumpycatislol: thx 4 ur support oikawa  
grumpycatislol: i had NO IDEA dat dis was our 1st holiday 2gthr  
grumpycatislol: COMPLTLY SLIPPD MY MIND  
vcomein✌: WELL what did you get him?  
grumpycatislol: well bc i m da most amazng bf  
grumpycatislol: we r goin 2 his fav restaurant  
grumpycatislol: then bc ther is a new gam he wants comin out @ midnight  
grumpycatislol: we r g2g wait in line 2gthr w snuggies hot choco mittens earmuffs etc so he doesnt get cold  
grumpycatislol: cuz i m such a grt bf  
vcomein✌: LAME  
grumpycatislol: its wat he wantd 2 do  
hoot@meme: BRO U R DA BEST BF  
hoot@meme: TOTAL BF MATERIAL  
vcomein✌: well i guess it's sweet that you're planning all that stuff to stay warm  
grumpycatislol: THX BRUH 4 HAVIN MY BACK  
hoot@meme: ANY TIME  
grumpycatislol: mitty wat do u want me 2 giv kenma?  
Misshimizu: I'm baking him an apple pie tomorrow morning before I leave for class so can you bring it to him?  
hoot@meme: LOOK @ MAH WIFEY EVERY1  
hot@meme: LOOK HOW CARIN SHE IS  
vcomein✌: kuroo THAT is the kind of gift you get your bf  
Misshimizu: Also I drew him a birthday card so if you all could sign it in the morning before you leave or when you wake up I'd appreciate it  
Misshimizu: I'll leave it on the counter  
hoot@meme: MY WIFEY BOKUTO MITTY  
hoot@meme: IS SO CARIN N CONSIDRATE  
hoot@meme: DAT IS Y SHE IS MRRYNG ME  
Sawamura_Daichi: Yes, I'll be happy to sign the card, Shimizu.  
Misshimizu: Thank you daichi kun  
Misshimizu: I think kenma will be really happy with your gift tetsu kun  
grumpycatislol: u think?  
Misshimizu: Yes  
Misshimizu: You are going to wait outside in the cold with him so he can get his game  
Misshimizu: And you're willing to spend his birthday doing that instead of throwing an extravagant party like we did for kou kun  
hoot@meme: DA BEST SURPRIZ PRTY  
Misshimizu: And I'm sure that just being able to spend his birthday with you means a lot to him tetsu kun  
grumpycatislol: thx mitty u da best  
hoot@meme: MITTY IS NOT 4 SHARIN KUROO BRO  
hoot@meme: U HAV A KENMA  
hoot@meme: MITTY IS MY WIFEY  
grumpycatislol: dw bro  
grumpycatislol: i follow bro code  
hoot@meme: DAMN STRAIGHT  
grumpycatislol: try again  
hoot@meme: oho  
hoot@meme:( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
grumpycatislol: ohoho  
grumpycatislol: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
hoot@meme: ohohoho  
vcomein✌: NO  
vcomein✌: what did kenma do in a past life to deserve you?  
Misshimizu: What did iwaizumi kun do in a past life to deserve you?  
grumpycatislol: LOL  
grumpycatislol: mitty askin da real questions  
vcomein✌: MITTY  
vcomein✌: anyone especially iwachan would and is blessed to have me as their bf  
hoot@meme: HAHAHAH  
vcomein✌: bullied  
vcomein✌: cyber bullied all the time  
grumpycatislol: HAHAHAHAH  
vcomein✌: omg good night  
hoot@meme: HAHAHAHAHAHHAH  
grumpycatislol: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH  
hoot@meme: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  
grumpycatislol: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  
hoot@meme: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[cut for length]

grumpycatislol: yo  
grumpycatislol: sawamura bro  
grumpycatislol: u awak?

_TODAY IS THE BEST HOLIDAY at 1:59AM_

grumpycatislol: i tak dat as a no  
grumpycatislol: did u srsly g2 bed rite aft u sent tat txt?  
grumpycatislol: how old u brah?  
grumpycatislol: ANYWAYS  
grumpycatislol: bc its my beautiful kenmas bday 2day ill be nice n tell u  
grumpycatislol: yes hanamaki n matsukawa think ur datin sugawara sawamura

_TODAY IS THE BEST HOLIDAY at 9:01AM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Mitty, the pie smells delicious and your card is really beautifully drawn.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Wait, WHAT?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Kuroo, what?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Answer me when you wake up.

_TODAY IS THE BEST HOLIDAY at 10:30AM_

vcomein✌: you set yourself up for this kuroo  
vcomein✌: rest in pieces kuroo tetsurou  
vcomein✌: here lies an idiot  
vcomein✌: he had a good run  
vcomein✌: unfortunate that he died on his bf's birthday but what can you do eh?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa, good. You're awake.  
vcomein✌: no i'm not  
Sawamura_Daichi: And, why do Hanamaki-kun and Matsukawa-kun think that I am dating Suga?  
vcomein✌: holy crap mitty  
vcomein✌: did you draw this?  
vcomein✌: no wonder you go to art school  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa, don't ignore me.  
vcomein✌: what time did you wake up to bake this?  
vcomein✌: you let it cool before you put it in the box right?  
Sawamura_Daichi: OIKAWA.  
vcomein✌: SERIOUSLY MITTY?  
vcomein✌: I WASN'T GOING TO EAT ANY OF THE PIE  
vcomein✌: i'm not a child  
vcomein✌: i don't need a note telling me hands off  
vcomein✌: WOW  
Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa, I am coming back to the apartment.  
vcomein✌: I KNOW THE PIE IS FOR KENMA MITTY I KNOW  
vcomein✌: OMG SAWAMURA ASK KUROO  
vcomein✌: CLEARLY HE KNOWS  
hoot@meme: LOOK @ MY PERF MITTYS SKILLS  
grumpycatislol: o wow mitty kenma will lov this  
grumpycatislol: thx  
Misshimizu: Of course I let it cool before putting it in the box oikawa kun  
Misshimizu: I woke up at 7 to assemble and bake it off  
Misshimizu: I made the crust and filling yesterday when I had time  
Misshimizu: I'm glad tetsu kun  
Misshimizu: I hope you both enjoy it  
grumpycatislol: srsly sawamura bro  
grumpycatislol: do u need me 2 spel it out?  
grumpycatislol: bro look @ dis shit show  
grumpycatislol: >>levtheACE: Buttttt kurooooooo-saaaaann o  
>>grumpycatislol: no  
>>levtheACE: Iats kenma-sangs dbany  
>>grumpycatislol: how many times do i have to tell you lev  
>>grumpycatislol: no means no  
>>levtheACE: KURrroo-SANnn  
>>levtheACE: S nheed loCVve aA surpriZSse paaarrty  
>>grumpycatislol: jesus lev  
>>grumpycatislol: what is wrong with your typing?  
>>grumpycatislol: are you drunk?  
>>grumpycatislol: what did i tell you about drinking?  
>>levtheACE: Not duroing scohol iOHurs  
>>grumpycatislol: don't drink during school hours  
>>levtheACE: IMma typinggSDSjsg underrwe theeee deskkkk  
vcomein✌: you seriously told your kouhai to not drunk during school hours?  
vcomein✌: that was your advice?  
vcomein✌: not tell him to not engage in underage drinking?  
grumpycatislol: yea lik U didnt engag in drinkin w ur kouhai @ aoba johsai  
hoot@meme: BRO  
hoot@meme: LEV U OVR GROWN KITTN U WTF  
hoot@meme: wut does dat evn say??  
vcomein✌: what happened at aoba johsai parties does not leave the premises of aoba johsai parties  
hoot@meme: he wors than hinata  
hoot@meme: lik my crow son jus uses shit ton of !!!!!  
hoot@meme: n these Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ  
grumpycatislol: oho? aoba johsai parties? oho?  
grumpycatislol: ill jus ask hanamaki n matsukawa  
vcomein✌: they are sworn to secrecy  
vcomein✌: they know that there will be repercussions if they say anything  
grumpycatislol: wat did u kill som1?  
grumpycatislol: IDK WTH LEV IS SAYIN  
hoot@meme: did he figur out how 2 chang his usrnm bk frm muchlegsuchhaiba?  
grumpycatislol: i think 1 of da 2nd yrs told him  
grumpycatislol: CURSE INUOKA  
hoot@meme: CURSE INUOKA  
hoot@meme: ENEMY OF DA MEME  
grumpycatislol: no srsly oikawa  
grumpycatislol: did u kill som1?  
hoot@meme: >>yesdisdoge: WE DO NOT SPEAK OF AOBA JOHSAI PARTIES  
>>iCENAwutudid: WE SAW NOTHING  
>>yesdisdoge: WE HEARD NOTHING  
>>iCENAwutudid: WE KNOW NOTHING  
>>yesdisdoge: WE ARE JON SNOW  
>>iCENAwutudid: WINTER IS COMING  
>>yesdisdoge: ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY WALK INTO AOBA JOHSAI PARTIES  
>>iCENAwutudid: all we are permitted to say is  
>>yesdisdoge: WHY IS THE RUM GONE?  
>>iCENAwutudid: WHY IS THE RUM GONE?  
>>hoot@meme: WHYISTHE  
>>yesdisdoge: WHYISTHE  
>>iCENAwutudid: WHYISTHE  
>>hoot@meme: WHYISTHE  
>>yesdisdoge: WHYISTHE  
>>grumpcatislol: WHY IS THE RUM GONE?  
vcomein✌: you can stop  
Sawamura_Daichi: You had alcohol at your team's parties?!  
Sawamura_Daichi: You all, especially as the once captains of those teams, shouldn't be promoting underage drinking.  
grumpycatislol: sawamuras nxt lines:  
hoot@meme: im not angry jus disappointd  
vcomein✌: sawamura you drink now and you're still 19...  
Sawamura_Daichi: Actually I never engage in the alcoholic portion of the evening.  
grumpycatislol: r u srs bruh?  
grumpycatislol: LAME  
hoot@meme: LAME  
grumpycatislol: LAME  
hoot@meme: bro but ur still not legal  
grumpycatislol: i lik 2 liv on da edge  
grumpycatislol: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
hoot@meme: oho  
Sawamura_Daichi: Before you two dissolve into whatever that is, Kuroo why does Hanamaki-kun and Matsukawa-kun think that Suga and I are dating?  
Sawamura_Daichi: I don't know who is worse at avoiding answering this question: you or Oikawa.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Probably you, Kuroo, to be honest.  
vcomein✌: yeah that's what i thought sawamura  
vcomein✌: at least i've just been avoiding you  
vcomein✌: while kuroo has been subjecting you to this meme torture  
grumpycatislol: i m offendd  
grumpycatislol: truly hurt  
grumpycatislol: bro arent u hurt dat hes insultng da quality of our memes?  
hoot@meme: SRSLY  
hoot@meme: SAWAMURA BRO  
hoot@meme: WEN U GET BK WE WILL EDUCATE U ON MEME CULTUR

_Misshimizu has changed TODAY IS THE BEST HOLIDAY to IT'S BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE DATING SUGA KUN at 11:00AM_

vcomein✌: HAHAHAHAHA  
vcomein✌: she snapped  
vcomein✌: and for once  
vcomein✌: not at me  
grumpycatislol: or at me  
grumpcatislol: the kenma incident still gives me nightmares   
hoot@meme: MITTY WE R SRRY  
hoot@meme: MITTY I LUV U  
hoot@meme: DONT BE MAD @ ME MITTY  
Sawamura_Daichi: Everyone thinks Suga and I are dating?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Even you, Shimizu?  
Sawamura_Daichi: But...  
Sawamura_Daichi: But why?  
Misshimizu: Oh my god  
Misshimizu: Kou kun please invite me back when he gets this sorted out  
Misshimizu: I don't want notifications about this until it's over

_Misshimizu has left IT'S BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE DATING SUGA KUN at 11:02AM_

hoot@meme: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooOOOOO  
hoot@meme: MITTY  
hoot@meme: COMEEEE BAAAAAAAAAAACK  
hoot@meme: LOOK WAT UVE DONE SAWAMURA  
hoot@meme: UVE MADE MY MITTY ANGRY  
vcomein✌: lol  
vcomein✌: good riddance  
vcomein✌: amirite?  
hoot@meme: U TAK DAT BK TRASHKAWA  
hoot@meme: MITTY IS A BLESSIN 2 TIS WORLD  
hoot@meme: SHE GIVS DIS WORLD SUGAR N SPICE N EVRYTHNG NICE  
vcomein✌: god iwachan is such a bad influence on you  
vcomein✌: also i was kidding

_vcomein✌ has added Misshimizu to IT'S BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE DATING SUGA KUN at 11:04AM_

Misshimizu: No.

_Misshimizu has left IT'S BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE DATING SUGA KUN at 11:04AM_

vcomein✌: this is what i get for being nice 

 **October 18th**  
_IT'S BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE DATING SUGA KUN at 3:33PM_

vcomein✌: bokuto where are you?  
hoot@meme: gym  
vcomein✌: i'm going to iwachan's for dinner and mattsun and makki will be there  
vcomein✌: and since you're on your own tonight and without kuroo  
vcomein✌: do you want to tag along?  
hoot@meme: OIKAWA U DA BEST  
hoot@meme: U MAH 3RD BEST BRO  
vcomein✌: only third?  
vcomein✌: i'm letting you come hang out with mattsun and makki and eat free dinner made by iwachan  
vcomein✌: and i'm only your third best bro?  
vcomein✌: who's second?  
hoot@meme: 1ST=KUROO  
hoot@meme: MY BRO SUPREME  
hoot@meme: THE TACO OF ALL BROS  
hoot@meme: THE BIG LEBROSKI  
vcomein✌: everyone knows that kuroo is your first bro  
hoot@meme: 2ND=AKAASHI  
hoot@meme: MY MAIN BRO  
hoot@meme: THE INSTANT NOODLE OF BROS  
hoot@meme: BROFESSOR-X  
hoot@meme: 3RD=ONE OIKAWA TOORU  
hoot@meme: A NEW BRO  
hoot@meme: DA FRESH YOUNG BLUEBERRY OF BROS  
hoot@meme: BRODA  
vcomein✌: for broda  
vcomein✌: i will let it pass that i am your third bro  
vcomein✌: just this one time  
vcomein✌: AND NOT BECAUSE OF STAR WARS  
vcomein✌: i thought mitty was your second bro?  
hoot@meme: shes transcendd dis list n is on her own list  
vcomein✌: what list?  
hoot@meme: MY WIFEY LIST  
vcomein✌: is she the only person on that list?  
hoot@meme: Y YES  
hoot@meme: YES SHE IS  
hoot@meme: HOOT HOOT  
hoot@meme: WE R GONNA GET MARRIED  
vcomein✌: sure and one day ushiwaka and i will be the best of friends   
vcomein✌: i thought mattsun and makki would've made your bro list  
hoot@meme: nah son  
hoot@meme: dey part of the DREAM TEAM  
hoot@meme: dat hlds a spec place in mha heart mah soul jus for dem  
hoot@meme: <http://imgur.com/gallery/kHPxj2F>  
vcomein✌: if you start  
vcomein✌: i will redact my invitation  
hoot@meme: ILL B GOOD  
hoot@meme: <http://i.imgur.com/EKG9eA0.jpg>  
vcomein✌: do you just have pictures of owls on your phone for when you need them?  
hoot@meme: Y YES  
hoot@meme: YES I DO  
vcomein✌: let's leave at 4:15  
vcomein✌: will you be ready?  
hoot@meme: B HOME SN  
vcomein✌: don't try to sneak your recorder bokuto  
vcomein✌: i will strip you down and check  
hoot@meme: bro u datin iwaizumi  
vcomein✌: iwachan will thank me 

 **October 19th**  
_IT'S BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE DATING SUGA KUN at 12:12AM_

Sawamura_Daichi: Do we act like a couple?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Well I guess, I mean I suppose we acted like parents when we had to deal with Karasuno back in high school, but that was it, wasn't it?  
Sawamura_Daichi: But every team had mom and dad figures, didn't they?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Guys?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Hello?

_vcomein✌ has changed IT'S BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE DATING SUGA KUN to NEVER AGAIN BOKUTO. NEVER AGAIN at 1:01AM_

vcomein✌: i trusted you bokuto  
hoot@meme: WEN DA MOON HITS UR EYE  
hoot@meme: LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE  
hoot@meme: DATS AAAAAMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOREEEEE  
vcomein✌: find your own way home

_NEVER AGAIN BOKUTO. NEVER AGAIN at 1:31AM_

hoot@meme: sawamura bruh u awak?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Yeah, did you have a good time at Iwaizumi's?  
hoot@meme: I DID  
hoot@meme: THX FOR ASKIN  
hoot@meme: U SUCH A GOOD FRIEND  
hoot@meme: UNLIK BRO #3  
vcomein✌: fuck off bokuto  
hoot@meme: 2 answr ur ques sawamura  
hoot@meme: yea ofc evry team had a mom n dad  
hoot@meme: BUT  
hoot@meme: dat doesnt mean evry mom n dad had SEXUAL TENSN  
hoot@meme: look @ kuroo n yaku  
hoot@meme: @ oikawa n iwaizumi  
hoot@meme: o wait nvm lol  
hoot@meme: LOL  
hoot@meme: wel look @ me n akaashi  
vcomein✌: HA  
vcomein✌: 10/10 would lol again bokuto  
vcomein✌: GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT  
hoot@meme: i told u me n akaashi r jus bros oikawa  
vcomein✌: i'm laughing at the part about you referring to yourself as dad of the team  
hoot@meme: I WAS THE DAD OF THE TEAM  
vcomein✌: not according to akaashi  
hoot@meme: WHAT?  
hoot@meme: OMG AKAAAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHI YYYYYYYYY  
hoot@meme: >>Shaknnotstirrd: Bokuto-san, I have finals starting on Monday  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: So please refrain from incessantly texting me at odd hours in the morning  
>>hoot@meme: AKAAAAAASSSHHHHIIII JUS ANSWR DA QUES  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: I'm going to block you until finals are over, Bokuto-san  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: Please understand  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: It's coming from a good place  
>>Shaknnotstirrd: Goodnight, Bokuto-san  
hoot@meme: Y U DO DIS 2 ME AKAASHI  
hoot@meme: Y U HATE ME AKAASHI  
vcomein✌: i like akaashi  
hoot@meme: I KNO EVRY1 LIKS AKAASHI CUZ HE COOL BEANS  
hoot@meme: g2 bed oikawa  
hoot@meme: y r u stil up?  
vcomein✌: iwachan is vacuuming the apartment  
vcomein✌: apparently he doesn't want to wake up to a mess in the morning  
hoot@meme: shouldnt u help him cln then?  
hoot@meme: lik a good bf?  
vcomein✌: SHOULDN'T YOU HELP HIM CLEAN SINCE YOU MADE THIS MESS WITH MATTSUN AND MAKKI?  
hoot@meme: anywys where was i sawamura?  
hoot@meme: o yea  
hoot@meme: mom n dad  
hoot@meme: team  
hoot@meme: SEX TENSN  
hoot@meme: nvm im finishd  
Sawamura_Daichi: That's it?  
hoot@meme: yup  
hoot@meme: gd nite  
Sawamura_Daichi: Wait, Bokuto!  
hoot@meme: yea?  
Sawamura_Daichi: You, and I assume others too, think that Suga and I have sexual tension?  
hoot@meme: didnt i jus say dat?  
hoot@meme: u guys hav a SHIT TON of unresolvd tensn

_hoot@meme has added Misshimizu to BOKUTO NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN at 1:58AM_

hoot@meme: 4 u mitty  
hoot@meme: gnite

 **October 27th**  
_GROUP COSTUME IS A GO (TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF LEV) at 9:34PM_

Sawamura_Daichi: So, I've been thinking a lot about what you said Bokuto.  
grumpycatislol: thinkin  
grumpycatislol: vv dangrs pasttim sawamura  
grumpycatislol: mite damge dat prty face of urs  
vcomein✌: you know i hate to agree with kuroo on this  
vcomein✌: but thinking a lot about what bokuto said is probably not the smartest idea you've had  
hoot@meme: HEY  
hoot@meme: ILL HAV U KNO  
hoot@meme: I WAS RNKD ABV AVE DURIN HI SKOOL  
vcomein✌: how much above average?  
hoot@meme: lik 2 BUT STILL  
vcomein✌: ...  
hoot@meme: WE G2 DA SAM SCHOOL OIKAWA  
vcomein✌: which we both were scouted too  
hoot@meme: WATEVR  
hoot@meme: sawamura bro wut u been thinkin abt?  
Sawamura_Daichi: What you said about me and Suga seeming like we had sexual tension...  
hoot@meme: BRO dat was SO LONG AGO  
Sawamura_Daichi: It was a week ago.  
hoot@meme: YEA lik a WEEK AGO IS SO LONG  
Sawamura_Daichi: Ever since you said it, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.  
Sawamura_Daichi: And I guess, I don't know.  
Sawamura_Daichi: I've never really thought of it that way before.  
hoot@meme: wat way?  
grumpycatislol: a sexual way?  
Sawamura_Daichi: Yeah.  
Sawamura_Daichi: I've never really thought about it at all.  
Sawamura_Daichi: I mean in first and second year, I had the biggest crush on you, Shimizu.  
Sawamura_Daichi: I'm not sure if you could tell.  
Sawamura_Daichi: But, then we became close at the end of second year and by the time we graduated, I just thought of you as a friend.  
Misshimizu: Don't worry daichi kun  
Misshimizu: Out of you three  
Misshimizu: You were the most obvious about it  
Misshimizu: You kept running out of the gym when I entered during first year  
grumpycatislol: LOL  
grumpycatislol: imagin sawamura as an awk 1st n 2nd yr dealin w his crush on mitty  
hoot@meme: ALRDY IMAGININ IT  
hoot@meme: DOES NOT DISAPPNT  
vcomein✌: 10/10 that ship would never sail  
hoot@meme: YEA BC SHE WILL BE SAILING W ME  
hoot@meme: BOKUTO N MITTY 2GTHR 4EVR  
Misshimizu: You were saying daichi kun?  
Sawamura_Daichi: I guess, I've just never thought Suga that way, but now that you've brought it up I can't stop thinking about how pretty Suga is.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Don't you think Suga is pretty, guys?  
Sawamura_Daichi: And thinking of how pretty Suga is led me to think about kissing Suga and now I just don't know what to do. Isn't Suga pretty?  
Sawamura_Daichi: How come no one is answering me about Suga being pretty?  
grumpycatislol: yea vv pretty sawamura bro jeez hold it 2gthr  
hoot@meme: lik OBJECTIVELY speakin sugawara is prtty  
hoot@meme: but lik OBJECTIVELY akaashi is da prettiest  
vcomein✌: OBJECTIVELY agree with bokuto about sugakun  
vcomein✌: but mr refreshing kun and akaashi still come in second to me  
hoot@meme: U TAK DAT BAK OIKAWA  
hoot@meme: AKAASHI IS DA PRETTIEST   
vcomein✌: i object   
grumpycatislol: couldnt evn let sawamura hav his momnt  
vcomein✌: EXCUSE YOU kuroo  
hoot@meme: YEA EXCUS U   
hoot@meme: WE R HAVIN A VV IMPOR CONVO HERE  
hoot@meme: KUROO BRO WHO IS PRETTR?  
grumpycatislol: easy  
vcomein✌: WHO?  
hoot@meme: YEA WHO?  
Misshimizu: You are both going to be so upset when he answers  
hoot@meme: y?  
grumpycatislol: obvi its kenma  
Misshimizu: ^That's why   
vcomein✌: get your disgustingly sweet relationship out of here kuroo  
hoot@meme: lik kenma is vv pretty but da prettst is def akaashi  
vcomein✌: I WILL FIGHT YOU BOKUTO  
vcomein✌: well iwachan will to defend my honor   
hoot@meme: BRING IT OIKAWA  
hoot@meme: KUROO N I FOUGHT ABT DIS IN HS  
Sawamura_Daichi: Excuse me?  
Sawamura_Daichi: I'm trying to discuss my love life here.  
Sawamura_Daichi: Can you two do this later?  
grumpycatislol: im listenin sawamura  
Sawamura_Daichi: Thanks, Kuroo.  
grumpycatislol: mostly bc i kno how dis is gonna end for oikawa w o iwaizumi   
Sawamura_Daichi: So, what do you think I should do?  
grumpycatislol: not wel 4 oikawa  
vcomein✌: FIGHT ME KUROO   
Sawamura_Daichi: Do you think Suga likes me back?  
vcomein✌: hmmmmm  
grumpycatislol: hmmmMMMMM  
hoot@meme: HMMMMMMM  
vcomein✌: what do you think kuroo?  
grumpycatislol: no idea.  
grumpycatislol: u bokuto?  
hoot@meme: bro u r askin diff questions  
hoot@meme: oikawa bro?   
vcomein✌: well...  
grumpycatislol: hard 2 say....  
hoot@meme: yea the signs...  
vcomein✌: lingering gazes  
grumpycatislol: lingering touches   
hoot@meme: lingering uh...U LEFT ME W NOTHIN  
hoot@meme: lingering longing???  
Misshimizu: YES. Suga kun likes you. YES.  
grumpycatislol: aw come on mitty  
vcomein✌: we were just getting started  
Misshimizu: I've watched this for three years too many  
Sawamura_Daichi: Did Suga tell you that, Shimizu?  
Misshimizu: You should just ask him out daichi kun  
Sawamura_Daichi: How?  
Misshimizu: With words?  
vcomein✌: HA  
Sawamura_Daichi: I mean obviously with words but which ones?  
Misshimizu: The ones in Japanese for will you go out with me?  
hoot@meme: YES I WILL MITTY  
hoot@meme: I THOUT UD NEVR ASK  
Sawamura_Daichi: And what if Suga says no?  
Misshimizu: He is coming to visit this weekend so here's your chance   
Misshimizu: Probably before the Halloween/Lev kun's birthday party?  
grumpycatislol: fuck dnt remind me  
hoot@meme: bro it was ur idea  
grumpycatislol: hnstly bc he wouldnt SHUT UP abt it  
grumpycatislol: >>levtheACE: Kuroo-san?  
>>levtheACE: Kuroo-san do yuo know whavt date is comign utp this wweekend?????  
>>grumpycatislol: the same dates that always come up two days later lev  
>>levtheACE: LLO  
>>levtheACE: Very feunny kuroo-san  
>>levtheACE: Theres a speclai dawte coming upp  
>>grumpycatislol: halloween  
>>levtheACE: Kuroo-sapn!  
>>levtheACE: Mi meant ua birthjday  
>>grumpycatislol: lev my birthday is in november  
>>grumpycatislol: get your months straight kid  
>>levtheACE: Hhaaha kuroo-san  
>>levtheACE: I meangt the acse bicrhdtay  
>>grumpycatislol: im pretty sure taketoras bday is in feb  
>>levtheACE: Kurooooooooooo-san   
>>levtheACE: (个_个)  
>>levtheACE: I meant imy birthhday  
>>levtheACE: Ame lev  
>>levtheACE: My birthday ius this weekend  
>>grumpycatislol: oho? is it really lev?  
>>grumpycatislol: why didnt you tell me sooner instead of starting from LAST MONTH?  
>>levtheACE: Lwel imm telling you now  
>>levtheACE: Youre twhoring me a party with yaku-san right?  
>>grumpycatislol: uh...  
>>levtheACE: Great  
>>levtheACE: Canft wait  
>>levtheACE: See you this weekfned  
>>levtheACE: At your arpatxment  
>>levtheACE: Wbith thue team  
hoot@meme: bro  
hoot@meme: did lev jus trick u into throwin him a bday bash?  
grumpycatislol: idk wut happnd  
grumpycatislol: i spnd most of our txts tryin to figur out wut hes sayin  
hoot@meme: n ur sur hes not drunk?  
Sawamura_Daichi: So, should we go on a date? What kind of date do you think Suga would like?   
grumpycatislol: @ this pt not sur  
grumpycatislol: wouldnt hold it past him to tink dat cans of beer in da mach r soda  
hoot@meme: LOL  
hoot@meme: he wors dan hinata  
Misshimizu: Probably a masquerade ball with classical music played by a string quartet and then you coming in when the clock strikes midnight     
grumpycatislol: dude lev is a new lvl  
grumpycatislol: of smthg  
vcomein✌: OMG YES MITTY   
Sawamura_Daichi: Um...  
vcomein✌: SAWAMURA THAT IS THE BEST DATE IDEA YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO THAT  
hoot@meme: r u 2 quotin dat anime u been watchin 2gthr w o me?  
Sawamura_Daichi: That sounds a bit extravagant with my current budget, Shimizu.   
vcomein✌: what do you mean without you?  
vcomein✌: you just weren't invited   
Misshimizu: Or you could take him to Odaiba. I think there's a ferris wheel there sugan kun would probably like   
grumpycatislol: odaiba is da shit   
hoot@meme: DA SHIT  
vcomein✌: how do you know that bokuto?  
hoot@meme: kuroo n i go on bro dates there somtims  
vcomein✌: i should get iwachan to take me there  
vcomein✌: we could double date sawamura  
grumpycatislol: not evrythng is abt u oikawa  
vcomein✌: i was just agreeing with mitty that it was a good place to go on a date  
grumpycatislol: >>vcomein✌: i should get iwachan to take me there  
grumpycatislol: in wut lang is dis agreein?  
vcomein✌: shut up kuroo  
Sawamura_Daichi: I'll do it. I'll ask Suga if he wouldn't mind going there.  
Misshimizu: Or you could just take him there spontaneously  
Misshimizu: Suga kun looks like the kind of person who'd like that sort of thing  
hoot@meme: LOOK HOW CARIN MITTY IS  
hoot@meme: SO PERCEPTIVE  
Sawamura_Daichi: I guess. I don't want to make him uncomfortable or anything.  
Misshimizu: Suga kun will definitely like it daichi kun  
Misshimizu: Especially if you get him some flowers or chocolate or win him a teddy bear at one of the stands   
hoot@meme: MITTY WEN WE GO ON OUR DATE WOULD YOU LIKE SOME FLOWERS OR CHOCO OR A TEDDY?  
hoot@meme: I CAN GET THOSE 4 U  
vcomein✌: >>vcomein✌: look at this ferris wheel iwachan  
>>vcomein✌: you can pretend you're godzilla when we get to the top  
>>IwaizumiHajime: No  
>>IwaizumiHajime: Go away  
>>vcomein✌: how can i go away?  
>>vcomein✌: we're texting iwachan  
>>IwaizumiHajime: Well then stop texting me  
>>IwaizumiHajime: I'm busy  
>>IwaizumiHajime: Also ask Kuroo to answer his text because I'm not sure about one of our orgo problem sets and I need this help  
>>vcomein✌: you care more about your hw than me  
>>IwaizumiHajime: 10 points to you shittykawa for getting that right  
>>vcomein✌: rude iwachan rude  
>>IwaizumiHajime: Tell Kuroo to answer me when he gets the chance  
>>IwaizumiHajime: Thanks  
>>IwaizumiHajime: Love you  
>>vcomein✌: (●♡∀♡))ヾ☆*。  
>>vcomein✌: LOVE YOU TOO IWACHAN  
grumpycatislol: OOOOOO THE BIG L WORD  
hoot@meme: OOOOOOoooOOOOOOO  
hoot@meme: OOOooooOOOOOOO  
vcomein✌: mature  
vcomein✌: really mature  
hoot@meme: OOOOOOoooooOOOOOO  
grumpycatislol: oikawa n iwaizumi sittin in a tree  
hoot@meme: K  
hoot@meme: I  
hoot@meme: S  
hoot@meme: S  
hoot@meme: I  
hoot@meme: N  
hoot@meme: G  
vcomein✌: been there done that  
hoot@meme: OOOOOOOOOoooOOOOOOO  
vcomein✌: how old are you again?  
vcomein✌: 5?  
grumpycatislol: yup seems abt rite  
hoot@meme: EXCUSE U BUT I M 5 N 1/2  
Sawamura_Daichi: I'm going to do it. Thanks for the suggestion, Shimizu.  
Misshimizu: Anytime daichi kun

 **October 31st**  
_PREPARE URSELVS 4 MUCH LEG SUCH HAIBA at 6:36PM_

_Sawamura_Daichi has changed PREPARE URSELVS 4 MUCH LEG SUCH HAIBA to SUGAWARA-SAWAMURA at 6:36PM_

grumpycatislol: woah bro  
grumpycatislol: u don do anythng by half measrs do u?  
hoot@meme: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
grumpycatislol: congrats dude  
grumpycatislol: we r proud of n hppy 4 u  
hoot@meme: CONGRATS MY MAN CONGRATS  
hoot@meme: GET SOME SWEET SUGAR  
vcomein✌: tone it down bokuto  
vcomein✌: congrats sawamura  
vcomein✌: i hope you two are at least as happy as iwachan and i are  
vcomein✌: not more though because that is impossible  
vcomein✌: (●♡∀♡))ヾ☆*。  
grumpycatislol: try 2 tone it down oikawa jeeze  
grumpycatislol: let a man be hppy  
Misshimizu: Congrats to you and suga kun  
Misshimizu: I hope you as happy as both oikawa kun and tetsu kun are in their relationships but not as annoying  
vcomein✌: really mitty? REALLY?  
grumpycatislol: wen hav i evr been annoyng abt my relatnshp w kenma?  
vcomein✌: ALL THE FUCKING TIME KUROO  
vcomein✌: need i remind you about the fb updates? the instgrm updates? the FUCKING TWITTER UPDATES?  
vcomein✌: THE REAL QUESTION IS  
vcomein✌: when have i been annoying about my relationship with iwachan?  
Misshimizu: This might surprise you oikawa kun but the walls in our apartment don't magically become sound proof when iwaizumi kun comes over  
hoot@meme: HOOT HOOT  
hoot@meme: no but i sleep w headphones in now  
grumpycatislol: me2  
hoot@meme: im havin my lawyrs draw up a suit  
Misshimizu: I will go in with you on that kou kun  
vcomein✌: RUDE  
vcomein✌: ALL OF YOU ARE SO RUDE  
vcomein✌: also makki and mattsun are NOT REAL LAWYERS  
hoot@meme: yet  
hoot@meme: >>yesdisdoge: From the Office of Hanamaki & Matsukawa, LLC  
>>iCENAwutudid: Would you be interested in combining your suit with a larger one filed by current and former members of the Aoba Johsai VBC?  
>>yesdisdoge: Given the evidence you have provided, your suit will not only strengthen the current one against Messrs. Iwaizumi and Oikawa, but will increase your own chances of compensation from lack of sleep, loss of high decibal hearing, loss of childhood innocence, bringing dishonour on the family, etc...  
vcomein✌: omfg  
vcomein✌: i'm done  
vcomein✌: goodnight  
grumpycatislol: its only 7 n we r throwin a party in 30 mins  
vcomein✌: YOUR POINT?  
vcomein✌: GOODNIGHT  
  
_grumpycatislol has changed SUGAWARA-SAWAMURA to NO SRSLY PREPAR 4 LEV at 6:46PM_

grumpycatislol: lock awy ur valuabls   
vcomein✌: you really have no faith in your kouhai do you?  
grumpycatislol: oikawa dis is ur 1st tim meetin lev but dont say i didnt warn u   
hoot@meme: WE NEED TO LOCK AWAY OUR CONSOLES  
hoot@meme: KUROO DONT FORGET   
hoot@meme: ALSO THE TV   
hoot@meme: WE SHOULD PUT THAT AWAY TOO   
grumpycatislol: MORE IMPORTANTLY GET THE KNIVES OUT OF THE KITCHEN  
grumpycatislol: WE SHOULD TURN OFF THE GAS  
grumpycatislol: >>levtheACE: Kuroo-san we tare yon our way  
>>levtheACE: This dis ma nice neighborhsood you leiv ni kuroo-san  
>>levtheACE: Kuroo-san we fwill bbe hrtree in 2t0 minuts  
>>levtheACE: Because keenmac-san wantxed to stop for apple pile apnd hre won't buy me any even though it's my birthady  
>>levtheACE: (个_个)  
grumpycatislol: EVERYONE THIS IS NOT A DRILL  
hoot@meme: I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL  
grumpycatislol: PREPARE FOR LOCKDOWN   
hoot@meme: I REPEAT PREPARE FOR LOCKDOWN  
vcomein✌: i forgot to ask but why does lev type like he's completely wasted?  
vcomein✌: also he can't be worse than you two with makki and mattsun   
grumpycatislol: that is not important right now  
grumpycatislol: you actually have no idea though   
grumpycatislol: and OIKAWA GET YOUR VALUABLES STOWED AWAY LIKE YOUR STAR WARS IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN  
hoot@meme: I HAVE SEEN MANY GOOD SOLDIERS LOST ON THE BATTLEFIELD OIKAWA  
hoot@meme: I HOPE STAR WARS IS NOT ONE OF THEM   
vcomein✌: must be serious if kuroo AND bokuto are actually spelling properly   
grumpycatislol: OIKAWA I AM NOT KIDDING  
hoot@meme: KUROO IS NOT KIDDING   
vcomein✌: jesus i'm moving   
vcomein✌: I'M COMING 

Sawamura_Daichi sent an image at 6:49PM

_grumpycatislol has changed NO SRSLY PREPAR 4 LEV to DONT COM BAK SAWAMURA SAVE URSELF U JUST FOUND HAPPINESS at 6:50PM_

vcomein✌: oh god don't tell me you actually confessed at the top of the ferris wheel over looking the island and handed him a rose while you were at it   
Sawamura_Daichi: Ok...I won't.  
Sawamura_Daichi: But that's exactly what I did and Suga loved it.   
vcomein✌: so fucking romantic i want to puke   
Misshimizu: Oikawa kun green does not suit you  
vcomein✌: I AM NOT JEALOUS MITTY  
vcomein✌: it's just my luck i ended up picking the least romantic guy  
Misshimizu: You make it sound like there were hoards of people lined up  
vcomein✌: I AM A VV POPULAR GUY  
Misshimizu: Also I thought iwaizumi kun was your one and only  
Misshimizu: I'm going to text him what you just said  
vcomein✌: OMG MITTY FOR ONCE JUST BE ON MY SIDE AND NOT IWACHAN'S  
vcomein✌: according to kuroo this might be our last night alive  
vcomein✌: let's just get along for one night mitty  
vcomein✌: ONE NIGHT  
Misshimizu: I make no promises  
vcomein✌: only iwachan loves me  
Misshimizu: See how I didn't comment on the doubtfulness of that statement oikawa kun?   
vcomein✌: omfg mitty   
vcomein✌: it's a start  
Misshimizu: It's the best you're going to get   
vcomein✌: are kuroo and bokuto hyper ventilating into paper bags?   
vcomein✌: holy shit   
vcomein✌: who is lev?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Dream Team was performing GREATEST MEMES OF THE LAST DECADE. They were trying to cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzIxcrKwLRk
> 
>  
> 
> Final Chapter: The Halloween Party. One does not simply walk Lev to the apartment, Kenma! And Bokuto just being Bokuto because he deserves his time to shine. 
> 
>    
> Thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos *blushes profusely*! (Appreciating intensifies)

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr @ [ sdaishou](http://sdaishou.tumblr.com/)


End file.
